


Last Resort

by IzabellaRiddle, orphan_account



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Drug Abuse, Multi, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide Attempt, Threesome - M/M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-02-22 00:24:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2487635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzabellaRiddle/pseuds/IzabellaRiddle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story ABANDONED....Andy's never really been afraid to die. He's smokes 2 packs a day, drinks like a camel, and doesn't really expect to live to 40. He didn't expect to be attacked in a dark alleyway and left to die, though. </p><p>Now he has to struggle with the fact that he's broken, while his band mates are stuck with the fact that their fearless leader is no longer fearless and just a shell of his former self.</p><p>Will anyone save him before he sinks too far? Or is one of the others going to get dragged down with him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. God Help Me

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: So I was originally planning for this story to be Ashley/Andy, but the story's taken a mind of it's own and it's looking like it might not actually be a Ashley and Andy story. Oops. My bad everyone! So I'm just going to remove the Ashley/Andy tag for now and see what happens and if something else pops up or if Andley happens I'll just deal with it when it gets there. I apologize to those expecting Andley to happen. :( 
> 
>  
> 
> I came up with this story after reading several Black Veil Brides fanfics. The idea came to me that I wanted to write something really dark and centered on Andy and this is the result. I have a basic plan for the story except for the ending. I'm not quite sure just yet how the story will end, but I will get there. For now just enjoy. :)
> 
> The title of the story was taken from the Papa Roach song "Last Resort" from their "Infect" album.
> 
> I do want to warn you all that I'm not always a very reliable updater. Hopefully I'll stay on this story. I have a bad habit of starting stories and never finishing them unless they're oneshots, so hopefully posting this, you guys can keep me going :)
> 
>  
> 
> The Chapter Title and lyrics are from the song "God Help Me" by Emilie Autumn off of her album Opheliac.

“God help me  
I don't see how I can live this way  
And I don't know why he's touching me  
Won't you shine in my direction and help me?  
Won't you lend me your protection and help me?”  
“God Help Me” - Emilie Autumn

November 5th was a chilly night, cold enough that Andy could see his breath forming and disappearing like smoke. It was late when the show finished, but that was fairly normal. The venue was an older theater that looked smaller on the outside, lined with a small street. An alley way ran next to the theater, large enough for cars but fading into blackness the further away from the street it went. There were a few dumpsters lining what he could see of the alley as well as boxes next to the dumpster between him and the street. The only light in the alley hung from above the theater door with a weak and flickering yellow light. 

“Fuck it's cold.” The 23 year old singer swore, bouncing on his feet to stay warm. Trying to be quick, he fished through his pockets until he found his prize. He pulled out the crumpled cigarette package and put one in his mouth while retrieving his lighter with his free hand. The battered and abused pack of smokes was stuffed back into a pocket before he went to light the white stick between his lips. After a few tries he finally managed to light the thing. With the hand clutching the lighter still, Andy ran it through his hair, pushing the black strands out of his face.

Andy was definitely regretting the decision to leave his jacket in the dressing room beforehand, as he took a drag off of the cigarette. Dressed only in a shirt with no sleeves, black skinny jeans, and his converse shoes, add in the sweat from the show and you had one freezing Andy standing in the cold like an idiot. He looked down both ways of the alley again, before looking up at the sky as boredom started to set in. 

Feeling antsy, he walked over to the opposite side of the alley and back to the door again, and repeated his steps to the opposite side of the alley a few times. After a few 'laps' Andy stopped and with a frown looked up and down the alley again the feeling of being watched unnerving him. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he shook his head and started his pacing again, twirling his lighter between his fingers. In the back of his mind he mused how it reminded him of a good start to a horror flick, but quickly pushed that thought away with a snort. 

After a moment or two, the noise of something smacking into the dumpster halfway between him and the street stopped his pacing. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing up, and the goosebumps on his arms, he wasn't entirely sure were from the cold temperatures this time. After a few minutes of standing there examining as much of the alley as he could see, he turned around and faced the door to the theater and dropped his cigarette to the ground, before stepping on it.

The footsteps were faint and he could barely hear them approaching him, however he heard them too late. As he started to turn around, a strong arm wrapped around his torso and left arm, the other hand around his mouth. With a muffled cry of surprise, the singer didn't even notice as he dropped his lighter and raised his free arm up to try and pry off the hand from his mouth. The guy holding Andy slipped his hand up so that he was covering both Andy's mouth and nose, his hold nearly impossible to struggle against. Andy started to panic when his brain caught up with the fact, he could no longer breath.

“Hold still!” The guy twisted to the left and then to the right throwing Andy off balance. Andy's lungs tried to take in air unsuccessfully, causing them to feel as if they were burning. His vision started to grey, fingers clawing at the arms wrapped around him weakening. As he got weaker, one of his feet slipped out from under the him which resulted in his weight being almost completely being held up by the guy. With a grunt, the attacker started to drag Andy's rapidly growing weaker body down to the darker section of the alley and away from the only light. With his vision swimming and growing even grayer, his lungs contracted and burned painfully as the lack of oxygen was being denied. He started feeling lightheaded, black spots dotting his greying vision.

Just as Andy was about to pass out, the guy let go of his mouth. Andy gasped and coughed, his lungs trying to take in air too fast. His vision was still swimming and near black even as Andy gasped for air. The black spots in his vision started to fade ever so slowly. Before Andy could scream for help, however, the guy moved the grip of his hand so that he was clutching one of his arms and pushed his head into the closest brick wall. Andy cried out as his skull was shoved painfully into the dark bricks. Tears started to gather in his eyes from the pain, causing his vision to swim even more with his head starting to pound. The singer brought up his free hand to clutch his head as a hand grabbed a handful of his hair. A gasp escaped his parted lips as the hand yanked him backwards so that he was thrown onto his back. Andy moaned in pain as his body and the back of his head made contact with the pavement of the alley floor. 

Andy reached up and clutched his head, trying to will away the spinning of everything around him and the pounding of his head. After a moment, Andy's breath hitched when the sound of a knife being pulled out of sheath registered in his brain. With still weak and shaky movements, Andy managed to flip over onto his stomach and shakily crawl onto his knees. A sudden rush of adrenaline coursed through Andy's body as he pushed himself to his feet and started to run. 

“You little fucker!” The guy growled and lunged forward before Andy could get any more than a few steps away and pulled the young man to his chest. 

“HELP! SOMEBODY!!” Andy managed before the guy covered his mouth again. He struggled against the hand, trying to twist his head side to side, but the guy's hand wouldn't budge. The blade of the knife the guy had taken out, was pressed against Andy's throat, just under his Adam's Apple. Swallowing nervously, Andy clenched his eyes closed. Warm tears streaked down his face, the wet trails quickly turning cold against his already cold pale skin. The guy put his face in Andy's hair and took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of sweat and cigarettes.

“Shut up before I slit your throat! Now, if you're a good boy, I may not kill you after I have my way with you.” Andy's blue eyes snapped open in terror at his attacker's words. “Maybe. You have such pretty eyes that I may want to watch the life in them bleed away, though.”

Andy started to hyperventilate, as the fear he felt overwhelmed him. Without a word of warning, the guy removed the knife and took another handful of hair and started to pull him even further away from the theater door. The hand on his mouth slipped a bit and Andy took his chance. He opened his mouth and bit down as hard as he could on the guy's hand, causing the hand to release him with a yell of pain. The singer tried to bolt away, but the hand in his hair yanked and twisted, causing Andy to lose his balance again and fall face down onto the cold pavement. His head and nose smacked against the pavement as he fell. Pain blossomed around his nose and black spots danced before his eyes. He reached up and felt his nose with a wince, however didn't feel any blood coming out. Before he could snap out of the daze he was in, the guy was on top of him, straddling him and pushing his head back into the asphalt. Pavement dug into the side of his forehead from being shoved into the ground.

“Ungh.” Andy's voice was partially muffled as the hand pushing his head into the pavement stayed where it was. Despite the pounding headache and his vision swimming, Andy started twisting his body back and forth as well as trying to kick out. However, the guy was a lot stronger than he was and instead of loosening his grip, the guy put a knee into his spine between his shoulder blades painfully. Andy was effectively pinned, but he refused to give up just yet. The hand on his head was removed, allowing Andy to raise his head up a little.

“Please just let me go,” Andy said, his voice wavering. Just as he started to struggle, though less effectively this time, the sharp point of a knife was pressed into his side in warning.

“Stop struggling, or I will just kill you where you lay, bitch!” The guy's voice was full of anger this time, his patience being thoroughly tested, or just not even there. Andy was terrified and he had no idea if he was even going to make it out of this ordeal alive. 

“Don't..don't do this, please.” He choked back a sob as more tears gathered in his eyes. Andy knew somewhere deep within that pleaded wasn't going to do anything, but he had to try anyways.

“Shut up!” The guy grabbed Andy's hair again and forcefully pushing his face into the asphalt twice. The second time, Andy cried out as he felt the cartilage in his nose snap. A second later blood started to trickle onto the asphalt below his face.

The knee between his shoulder blades was removed after a moment and the knife disappeared from his side. Before Andy could try anything, the guy quickly flipped him around onto his back, pinning one of his arms underneath him and covered his mouth with a hand. He screwed his eyes shut, more tears streaking down his face and onto the ground. Andy looked up at the guy with wide fearful eyes, the only visible feature of the guy's face being his dark eyes leering at him through the two eye holes of the black ski mask. 

Working quickly, the guy pressed a knee into his side and the other forced between his legs. With panic Andy started to struggle as much as he could, screaming against the hand covering his mouth. The guy growled and plunged the knife into Andy's stomach, eliciting a muffled scream. Blood started to seep out of the wound, quickly soaking into the black shirt. The hand on his mouth stayed put, even as Andy tried to shake his head from side to side to dislodge the hand to no avail. Andy grasped the arm holding his mouth and tried to dig his nails in, though they were too short to do much of anything.

Andy whimpered and looked everywhere he could, trying to find anything to use as the guy released his hold on his mouth. When he saw absolutely nothing within reach, Andy let out a sob. The guy moved his body and used the hand with the knife to pin one side of Andy's hips as he got to work undoing the button and zipper on his pants. 

“No! STOP! HELP!! SOMEONE!! Anybody.” Andy sobbed again, the last part coming out as a whisper. There was no one there to help him. The hand on his zipper was removed only to come into contact with Andy's cheek. His cheek quickly turned red and warm as the blood rushed to that side of his face, however Andy was dazed again. He blinked rapidly, trying to get his vision to cooperate and took deep breaths. He could feel the adrenaline start to leave him, and exhaustion flood him instead.

“I said SHUT. UP!” Andy started to cough up blood, leaving a metallic taste in his mouth. Licking his lips he could taste more blood, his nose still bleeding at this point. At this point he was too dizzy to struggle much, and the guy used both hands to finish taking off Andy's jeans. Cool air rushed over his bare skin, and it occurred to him that he hadn't worn any underwear underneath his jeans. He moaned in pain as he was flipped over onto his stomach again, his bare ass exposed to the guy. Pain exploded throughout his body, as the knife wound was pressed against the pavement. Blood quickly started pooling underneath him.

As Andy's consciousness started to fade, he didn't hear the guy undo his own pants. Hands gripped his hips and pulled them forcefully into the air. Andy moaned quietly in pain as everything started to grow blacker, but a sharp and burning pain ripped unconsciousness away from him when the guy forcefully entered him. The guy grunted with pleasure and started to pound into him as fast as he could. Blue eyes dimmed a little as something inside of him broke, tears silently trickling down his face. The rest of the attack turned into a blur for Andy, feeling hollow and broken.

When the guy was done, he quickly pulled out and zipped himself up. The guy got up to his feet as Andy collapsed onto the ground, and bent over and pulled Andy's pants up and over his hips, hiding most of the evidence of what had transpired, however failed to zip them up. He stood up and took off into the dark alley. Dizzy from blood loss, and in pain Andy he heard yells in the distant. Andy was quickly losing consciousness, so he crawled to the nearest dumpster slowly before turning over and kicking it with as much effort as he could. After a few kicks, Andy could hear footsteps coming closer and someone calling his name. He curled up on his side, halfway into a fetal position. Andy could feel the pull of unconsciousness, but tried to fight it off. After what felt like hours to Andy, the two familiar figures of Jake and CC reached him and knelt before him.

“Andy! Jesus Christ! Jake, call 9-1-1!” Andy could feel their hands on him as someone, 'probably CC,' he thought briefly, gently rolled him over.

“Got it!” Someone got up and moved away a few paces, but Andy couldn't see the person very well.

“Andy? Andy, can you hear me?” Andy tried to speak, but nothing came out as unconsciousness finally claimed him.


	2. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I honestly don't remember anything after going outside. I remember thinking I was an idiot for not bringing a jacket though.” Andy scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to remember. Mentally he went through the night up to when he went outside. Then as if a crack in a dam, the memories started flooding back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so as I was writing this chapter, it occurred to me, that this story was writing itself and so I had to retract the pairing I had listed, because now I'm not entirely sure which pairing is ACTUALLY going to happen :P That's what we call my bad, and my favorite: oops. I do have plans for this story, but they're basic ideas and I'm letting the story write it self in those general directions now. Let's see where it takes us, yeah? 
> 
> Also I'm not entirely familiar with how hospital stuff goes, so I'll try my best.
> 
> I also want to thank my best friend IzabellaRiddle for all the help she's been giving me :) I couldn't have made this possible without her! <3

“Shattered, shattered  
Love and hope and sex and dreams  
Are still surviving on the street  
Look at me, I'm in tatters!  
I'm a shattered  
Shattered”  
“Shattered” - The Rolling Stones

 

The first thing that Andy noticed was the constant beeping somewhere to his right. The second thing he noticed was the smell of disinfectant of a hospital. The third thing he noticed was the pain in several areas. It took some effort before Andy could open his eyes as it felt like they were being weighed down with lead. When he managed to pry open his eyes the first time, he groaned at the brightness of the, what he assumed, mid-morning light. He moved his head away from the direction of the brightness, which coincidentally happened to be in the direction of the beeping, and attempted to open his eyes again. Not having been blinded by the brightness this time, Andy opened his eyes a little further. Everything was blurry so Andy closed his eyes and opened them again, this time opening them all the way. Andy blinked a few more times, clearing away the blurriness. 

Andy reached his right hand up to clutch his head, but paused when he felt a tug. Looking down, he saw the IV drip attached to his arm and taped to stay in place. Blinking, Andy turned his head gingerly to his left and glanced briefly at the window before resting his gaze on CC sitting in the chair staring at the phone in his hands. On the bedside table there was a vase of pink flowers with a note stuck into it. On the wall to the right there was a solid oak door, probably leading to a hallway or bathroom. Just to the right of the TV directly across from Andy was another door.

It was then that it occurred to him that he couldn't remember why he was here. For a few moments, Andy stared at the flowers then over to the wall directly across from him, looking at but not really seeing anything in front of him. The last thing he remembered was going outside to smoke at the theater after the show, then it was just black after that.

Blinking, Andy looked at his arms again, studying them. There were bruises all over, his head and nose felt like when he had broke it three years ago, his ass was sore for some reason, and the worst of it all was his stomach. Curious, Andy moved his free arm and touched the area that was sore on his stomach. He cried out as the pain blossomed like wildfire. Andy screwed his eyes shut, as he willed the pain to pass. 

“Oh fuck!” Andy took several shallow breaths as he waited for the pain to subside. When he could breathe normally again and the pain tolerable, he noticed his voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper and it had felt like he'd swallowed gravel.

“Andy, you're awake! Oh hey here you should drink this.” CC Shifted in his seat before standing up and reaching on the table for something. With his free hand, CC managed to help Andy sit up before handing him the glass of water. When he was finished drinking the water, CC set the glass back on the table and let Andy fall back against the raised hospital bed.

“Thanks CC. What the fuck happened?” CC was silent for what seemed like a few minutes before speaking. Andy glanced over to him when he didn't speak and watched as CC ran a hand through his hair.

“We were kinda hoping you'd be able to tell us. When you never came back from smoking, Jake and I went looking for you and found you bleeding to death in the alley outside the theater. We thought we were going to lose you for a while there, man.” CC bent forward in the chair resting his elbows on his knees, his hands in front of his mouth.

“I honestly don't remember anything after going outside. I remember thinking I was an idiot for not bringing a jacket though.” Andy scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to remember. Mentally he went through the night up to when he went outside. Then as if a crack in a dam, the memories started flooding back to him. “Where's everyone else?”

CC scratched his chin. “Jake went to go get something from the cafeteria. Jinxx and Ashley are doing press or an interview or something. We're gonna have to cancel some shows, so they're taking care of that I think.” The 23 year old nodded and stayed silent for a few minutes. 

As Andy was about to open his mouth again, the door opened to reveal a fairly tall man in a white lab coat and basic tan slacks. The Doctor had what he supposed could have been a warm smile, or at least sympathetic, as he strode to Andy's right side. He glanced down and frowned at the clip board the doctor was clutching. Andy heard CC shift in his seat and turned his attention to CC instead of the doctor briefly meeting his gaze. Before CC could say anything the doctor spoke up, causing Andy to shift attention back to the doctor. 

“Oh good you're awake Mr. Biersack, I'm Doctor LeStrange. I'm just going to take some notes here real fast and then I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?” Andy tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throats and nodded at the doctor. After making some notes on the clip board, the doctor set it down next to Andy's leg and pulled out a pen light from his breast pocket. “Alright I need you to look at me.” 

Andy forced himself to keep his eyes open as the doctor shined the light into his left eye several times and then his right. He stayed quiet, trying to ignore the fresh memories of the night before. A hollow feeling started to form in the pit of his stomach. The doctor smiled warmly again as he clicked the light off and put it back in it's place. Andy watched as the doctor picked up the clip board again.

“Can you tell me your full name?” The doctor glanced at Andy expectantly.

“Andrew Dennis Biersack.” Andy looked ahead of him, avoiding the gazes of both CC and the doctor, as said doctor scribbled on the clip board again.

“Good, now your date of birth?” He took a deep breath as he tried to keep calm.

“December 26th, 1990.” 

“Excellent, how about today's date?” Andy stopped to think for a moment.

“Uh, yesterday was the 5th, so today would be November 6th I think?” The doctor made a noise of approval as he wrote more notes down.

“Alright are you feeling any pain, discomfort, nausea, confusion, or anything else?” Andy swallowed nervously again and nodded then looked back at the wall opposite him.

“My stomach hurts, headache, and I'm sore. At first I couldn't remember what happened.” He frowned slightly and looked at the doctor when he made a 'hmm' noise.

“Alright now for your injuries, you have a broken nose, but we managed to set it back. You received a mild concussion, but everything is looking good so far. For the stab wound we managed to repair all the damage and stitch it up, so you'll be sore for a while. Make sure to take it easy and don't participate in any strenuous activity. You lost a lot of blood last night. It was very touch and go when we got you in, and you flat-lined once, but we were able to get you back. Your tests are looking good so far as well and we gave you a tetanus shot. Now,” the doctor trailed off, causing Andy to look at the doctor. The look he was giving him, made him dread what the doctor was about to say next. “We did recover evidence of rape, so we had to do a rape kit and we're running tests for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.”

Andy paled as he heard CC gasp next to him and wrapped his left around his mid-section protectively. He could feel CC's eyes on him, but Andy was stubbornly refusing to look at anyone. Tears gathered in his eyes and threatened to fall. The doctor placed his hand on Andy's shoulder in what was meant to be a comforting gesture, but Andy only felt anger at the touch. He didn't want pity, or sympathy.

“Were going to hold you for the next 48 hours just to make sure everything is kosher, okay? I'm going to go get the two officers waiting outside. They have some questions for you. I'll be back later to check up on you.” Andy nodded, but looked at his feet instead of the doctor. After a moment the door to the room shut with a click. A tense silence filled the room.

“I remember. I was better off not knowing.” The singer's voice wavered as the memories replayed themselves for him. Before CC could say anything, the door opened again, revealing two officers. Andy glanced over at them, noting that one had what he thought was a porn 'stache, and the other looked like he'd barely graduated high school.

“Andrew Biersack?” He nodded at them. “I'm Officer Hart, and this is Officer Dallas.” The older looking one gave him a studying look, while Officer Dallas looked at him sympathetically.

“Hi.” Andy looked away and bent his knees so that they were as close to his chest as they could be without him sitting up.

“What can you tell me about what happened?” Andy screwed his eyes shut, forcing the tears to fall down his cheeks. He didn't want to do this, but he didn't really have a choice.

“I...After the show we did last night, I went outside to smoke. After a few minutes I heard a noise by a dumpster, but I didn't think....I didn't think anything of it, you know? Right after that some dude taller and bigger than me came up behind me and covered my mouth before I knew what was happening. I...tried,” Andy wiped furiously at his eyes, trying to erase any sign of the tears. “I tried to fight back, but I couldn't breathe. The guy started dragging me away from the door of the theater. I couldn't fight back, I couldn't fight him,” Andy swallowed the lump that wouldn't go away as CC placed his hand on Andy's shoulder comfortingly.

“Take it easy man. Don't rush it.” Andy nodded, tears gathering in his eyes again.

“Then he pushed me head first into the brick wall and then threw me on the ground. I...I remember,” Andy frowned and took a shake breath as he tried to calm himself down and make sense of the memories for a moment. 

“I..he pulled out a knife, and I heard it, so I tried to get up, it was hard though because my head was killing me. I got up and tried to run, screaming for help, but the guy was faster and grabbed me again. He put the knife to my throat and said to shut up or he'd slit my throat. Then he said 'Now, if you're a good boy, I may not kill you after I have my way with you,' and I started to panic.” Andy paused and forced back the sob trying to make it's way out of him. He refused to make eye contact with anyone, and looked down at his lap.

“After that he started to drag me again by my hair and I bit him. He grabbed me by the hair again and I remember him throwing me onto the ground. I ...it's kind of fuzzy after that, but I remember at some point pain in my stomach, I think he stabbed me. It..After..I...” This time Andy couldn't stop the sob that escape, nor the tears that started to flow down his face. The hand on his shoulder clenched a little tighter, bringing Andy back to the present. Andy took a deep shaky breath and wiped at his eyes again. “After the guy ….After he left I crawled to a dumpster and kicked it and that's all I remember.” 

Officer Hart nodded when he was done writing down Andy's words. “Did you manage to get a good look at your attacker?”

Andy frowned and tried to think back. “He was tall, taller than me and I'm 6'4”. Had to be at least 6'9”. He was really buff too. Not like fat or anything.” Andy's voice was soft, just above a whisper. “Oh and he had really dark eyes. He wore a ski mask so I didn't really get any more than that.” The scratching of pen on paper alerted Andy that he was writing everything down.

“Any tattoos, or any defining feature that would help us catch him faster?” Andy shook his head no.

“Alright, well we appreciate all the information you've given us. We'll do everything we can to get this guy and be in contact with you as soon as we get any more information.” Officer Dallas, who'd been silent clapped a hand on Andy's right shoulder before the two of them turned around and left the room.

“Fuck, man.” Andy could hear the shock and disbelief in CC's voice without even looking at him. “You gonna tell the others?” His hands clenched into fists, terror taking over at the thought.

“No! No. You can't tell them. Not this.” Andy ignored the tears that were gathering in his eyes again. He was turning into such a fucking girl.

“You should really tell them at some point, Andy. I can't imagine what you're going through, but we're here for you. You know that. We can help you get through this.” He knew CC was just trying to be a good friend, but Andy couldn't help it but get angry. Before Andy could snap at the older male, the door opened to reveal a haggard looking Jake carrying two steaming cups of what Andy assumed was coffee. 

Jake stopped at the door and looked at Andy with surprise before giving Andy a tired smile. Gathering his bearings, Jake started moving again and walked around the bed to CC. Handing the drink over and setting his own cup on the table with the flowers, Jake bent over and gave Andy half a hug while being careful of the wires.

“Fuck, Andy you scared the fuck out of us.” Jake let go of Andy and reached behind CC and pulled another chair he hadn't seen before next to CC's chair and sat down. “How you feeling?”

“Like I was stabbed in a random fucking alley.” Andy ignored the frowns that CC and Jake were giving him at his bitter tone. Being careful of the wires and tubes attached to him, Andy carefully rolled over onto his side facing away from them. “If you'll excuse me. I'm tired and want to sleep some more.” The 23 year old closed his eyes and mentally willed his bandmates to leave.

“Alright, Andy. We'll let you get some sleep. We'll be back later to check on ya.” Andy tried to ignore the sadness in Jake's voice as the two older males got up and headed to the door. He heard one of them pause at the door.

“Think about it, Andy. We're here for you man,” CC said after Jake had left. A few seconds later the door clicked shut, leaving Andy alone to his thoughts.

“Fuck.” Andy rubbed at his eyes, feeling the all-too-familiar feeling of tears gathering again. He didn't like the idea of crying, but the tears and sobs forced their way out anyway. Eventually he fell into a restless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song "Shattered" by the Rolling Stones from their album "Some Girls"


	3. Given Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was he dead inside? Maybe he was. Andy sneered at his reflection, an uncontrollable rage coursing through him. Without thinking, he let out a frustrated yell and punched the mirror, shattering it instantly. The noise was loud and Andy was certain that would have caught the attention of someone, but he didn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a bit longer than the first two chapters to get going on it, but once I did get going, I actually had fun writing it. Well when I wasn't getting writer's block :P
> 
> Song featured is "Given Up" by Linkin Park from their "Minutes to Midnight"

“Wake in a sweat again  
Another day's been laid to waste  
In my disgrace  
Stuck in my head again  
Feels like I'll never leave this place  
There's no escape  
I'm my own worst enemy”  
“Given Up” - Linkin Park

 

It was dark by the time Andy woke up again. With a groan, Andy gingerly raised his left hand to his face and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Once he was done rubbing his eyes, Andy blinked a few times, trying to get his eyes adjusted to the lighting or lack there-of. He looked around the room for any sort of clock, cursing when he found none.

“Fuck.” Andy stared up at the ceiling and wondered absently if any of the guys actually stopped by to visit again like CC said they would. He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to be here by himself. With a bitter laugh he mentally berated himself. With a long sigh Andy ran his left hand through the long locks on the top of his head. 

After a few moments of just staring at the ceiling again Andy felt the need to use the bathroom. With a sigh of frustration at the rails, he turned over, being careful of his injuries, so that he could feel for the nurse call button. He'd wished the doctor would have gone over those buttons instead of letting him try to figure it out for himself. 

“Fucking Hell,” Andy cursed as the head of the bed lifted up. That wasn't the button he was looking for. Pushing another button, he cursed again as this time the bed lowered. “Really? Where the fuck is that button?” Too bad the room didn't have any bedside lamp. The light would have come in handy. 

“GAH FUCK!” Andy cursed and covered his face with his hands. He really hated hospital beds. He really, really did. Getting fed up, he pulled the wires off of his arm and gingerly pushed himself into a sitting position. Pain bloomed in his stomach, causing him to pause for a few seconds. When he could breathe normally again, Andy pushed himself to the edge of the bed, hanging his feet off of the side. Carefully he slid off of the bed and onto his feet. The sudden contact of the cold floor caused him to hiss. After a moment of trying to get used to the feeling of being on his feet, Andy situated his gown behind him and started walking over to the door that he was positive was a bathroom. 

When he got to the door, he pushed the handle and opened it. Sure enough the room behind the door was a bathroom. He felt along the walls by the door for a few moments before cursing at the sudden light in his face. It took him a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the light before he could move over to the toilet on the right. 

After doing his business, Andy moved over to the sink and washed his hands. A frown overtook his face as he looked up into the mirror above the sink. The person staring back at him had a large purple and black bruise across the bridge of his nose. He was pale, even more than normal and his hair was limp and looked lifeless. With a start he realized his eyes had a hollow feel to them. Was he dead inside? Maybe he was. Andy sneered at his reflection, an uncontrollable rage coursing through him. Without thinking, he let out a frustrated yell and punched the mirror, shattering it instantly. The noise was loud and Andy was certain that would have caught the attention of someone, but he didn't care.

Just as quick as it came, the anger left him leaving him feeling incredibly numb. Without thinking about what he was doing or the pain and blood coming from his right hand, Andy picked up a large shard from the mirror in his bleeding hand and gripped it tight. Blood trickled from where the shard was cutting into his hand, but all he could focus on was the pain and the strange relief it seemed to bring him. For a few moments, all Andy could do was stare at the blood dripping from his hand onto the floor and sink from his hand. 

The world around him faded, and all he could hear was his own heartbeat. Slowly, Andy brought the shard to his left wrist and pressed it against the tattooed flesh there. Pain flowed through his arm but he kept pushing the shard into his wrist even as blood started to pour out of the wound in small rivers. He was completely hypnotized by the blood and feeling. As he was about to do it again, he felt hands on him pulling him away from the bathroom and the mess, or even as the glass shard was pried from his hands. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear his inner voice telling him just how messed up this was, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

As the world started to come back into focus, he could hear voices around him and someone touching him, leading him somewhere. Panic gripped him as images of the attack flashed through his mind. He didn't want someone touching him!

“NO!” With a blind panic fueling him, Andy ripped himself out of the person's and barreled towards the door to the hallway. Hands gripped him again only adding to the panic. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” 

He managed to rip himself away again as tears started to form in his eyes. Everything was blurry both from the tears and the panic as he quickly opened the door before anyone could grab him again. Randomly picking a direction, he ran to the right and made a left down another hallway. He could see a set of double doors in the distance. He could taste the freedom as he got closer. Voices in the distance were getting closer. I have to get away! 

Several pairs of arms wrapped around him from either side, preventing him from getting anywhere. He struggled as hard as he could and even bit one of the guys. Before he could escape though, a needle was stuck into his neck and something being injected into him. The world started to lose focus as he fell to the ground. With a sob, he realized he couldn't escape.

“No! Let me go,” he whispered as everything went black again.

~

It was bright by the time Andy came back to the land of the waking. With a groan he moved his head away from the infernal window and slowly opened his eyes. The pounding in his head made him frown. He went to move his hand to his head, but panicked when he couldn't move his arms. He pulled at his arms again and let out a frustrated yell when he realized they were strapped down. The 23 year old cried out as the more he jerked on the restraints, the more pain blossomed in his left wrist and right hand. Andy stilled his movements and stared at the ceiling. There was a moment before Andy realized he couldn't remember what had happened after he went to sleep yesterday.

The silence of the room was deafening to Andy. After a moment the door to the room opened, revealing a male with short and spiky brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He wore a set of standard blue scrubs and looked incredibly young. Andy was certain he was a nurse, but the guy looked like he was barely over the age of 18. With a suspicious glance, Andy watched as the guy smiled happily at him.

“Oh! Didn't realize you were awake. Want me to raise the bed for you?” The male came over, a clipboard in one hand. Andy nodded silently and just opted for watching the male with wariness. After a second, the head of the bed raised up so that Andy was basically sitting up.

“Thanks,” Andy mumbled. The guy merely beamed at him and gently patted his shoulder, causing Andy to flinch. And just like that, the memories of the night flooded back in. Andy frowned and looked down at his wrists. Now that he was in a more stable frame of mind, he couldn't believe he had done that. That wasn't like him.

“You know, you gave us all a scare last night. We had to put you in restraints for your own safety. You were also put on suicide watch last night.” The guy smiled sadly at Andy, causing the anger to bubble up again. He didn't want anyone's pity, and certainly not from this guy.

“When are these coming off?” Andy tugged on his right arm, bringing the nurse's attention to his wrist. The guy smiled again.

“Oh well I can talk to Doctor LeStrange about that and we'll see what he says, but for now I'm afraid they stay for our and your safety.” Andy sneered at the guy and looked away. “For now you have some guys that want to see you.” With a glare, Andy looked back at him. The guy didn't flinch making Andy unsure if he respected the guy a little or was more angry.

“Who is it?”

“They say they're your bandmates.” Andy physically deflated and looked away.

“Send them in.” Andy watched the guy nod and move out of the room from the corner of his eye. When the guy was gone, Andy took a deep breath and blinked back more tears. God he was turning into such a girl.

It was a few minutes before the door opened again as CC, Jinxx, Ashley, and Jake all filed in. Jake and CC took the chairs to Andy's left, while Ashley and Jinxx stood on his right. A tense silence filled the room as they all noticed the restraints.

“Hey.” Andy stared at his lap in shame as he stayed silent. Beside him, Andy heard CC sigh. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I tried to fuck up my wrists last night and had some fucking break, what the hell do you fucking expect?” Andy tried to swallow the anger that burst from him, but to no avail. With a clench of his fists, Andy tugged on the restraints again. He saw CC glance at the others and Andy couldn't stop the words from coming from him. “What the hell is that fucking look for? I'm not some fucking thing to be fucking pitied, so stop it! I don't want anyone's fucking pity! FUCK!”

Jake looked at Andy with uncertainty, his words soft. “Andy, we're not pitying you. We're worried about you man. We're here because we care and you nearly fucking died.” Andy fell silent, trying to suppress his anger again.

“Stop! I don't want anyone fucking worrying over me! I can fucking take care of my fucking self.” There was a snort from Ashley.

“Obviously we do need to worry, or did you forget you're in restraints right now? The nurse said you punched the mirror, tried to slit your wrist and then took off down the fucking hall bleeding all over everything. You even bit one of the doctors trying to restrain you! Not to mention the fact that over 24 hours ago Jake and CC found you near death in an alleyway! What part of that says you can take care of yourself right now and for us to not worry?!” Ashley's voice was full of anger and worry, causing Andy's anger to deflate a little. Tears welled up in his eyes. “We still don't know all the details about what happened because CC refuses to tell us.”

A tear fell down Andy's cheek and he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't want them to see him like this. He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. “I … I can't-”

“You don't have to tell us, man. We're here for you no matter if you decide to tell us or not. It'll be easier to help you if you tell us, yes, but we're here regardless.” Jinxx's voice was comforting, or trying to be. Andy wasn't entirely sure he wanted comfort right now. More tears welled up and fell down his cheeks. A sob forced its way out of him. 

“I wanna g-go h-home.” Andy hiccuped as the sobs kept coming. He was tired of being in the hospital and all he wanted to do was go home and maybe drown his sorrows in alcohol. Instead he was stuck here in restraints as his bandmates, his brothers, watch him crumble in front of them. The 23 year old clenched his fists as the door opened again, this time opening for Doc Strange. Ashley and Jinxx moved out of the way for the doctor and stood at the foot of Andy's bed instead.

“Hello guys. Andy how are you feeling?” Andy laughed bitterly as he glanced at the doctor from the corner of his eyes.

“Like a caged fucking rat.” The doctor sighed. 

“After last night's events we didn't have a choice in case you tried to pull something like that again. Now, I'll go ahead and release the restraints, however, someone is going to have to stay with you. You'll have to be supervised.” Andy's fists clenched so that his fingernails were cutting into the bandage on his right hand and the flesh of his left. 

“We'll keep an eye on him, Doc.” 

Doc strange nodded at CC with a grateful look before he pointed to a button with the other buttons to raise and lower the bed. “That's the nurse's call button. I apologize. I forgot to go over that. Now here, let me go ahead and undo these. Please be mindful of your injuries. We had to put seven stitches in your right hand and 3 in your left wrist. They're going to be sore for a while. If you want we can give you morphine for the pain, but you'll have to call a nurse to administer it.” The doctor undid the strap on the right and Andy could've cried from relief as he moved over to the other side. CC and Jake moved out of the doctor's way, as he undid the other strap. 

When Doc Strange was done, he patted Andy's shoulder softly. “Now please don't bite any more of my nurses, alright? We should also have the test results in sometime today as well. Get some rest Mr. Biersack. I'll have my nurse Michael check on you in a bit.” The doctor gave a smile to Andy and the others before leaving the room. It was silent once again after the door closed with a click.

“So uh.. you missed Ashley getting hit on by a guy. It was hilarious.” Andy raised an eyebrow at Jinxx and Ashley as he resisted the urge to smile.

“Yeah! This guy was pulling out all the stops, and was insisting on buying me a drink. I'm not even sure he realized I was a guy.” Andy pictured the scene in his head, his lips twitching into a small smile. Jake and CC, who had moved their chairs back to where they were, were laughing hard.

“Oh man, how did I miss this? When was this?” CC looked at Jinxx and Ashley.

“When we were on our way to do interviews yesterday. What makes it even more hilarious was when another guy hit on him after the interview. Different guy, but still didn't get the hint.” Andy snorted and started laughing at the uncomfortable look Ashley had developed.

“I even went as far as to say, 'I'm a guy.' The guy shrugged and kept hitting on me anyways!” Andy busted out laughing even more, and then winced as the laughing aggravated his stab wound.

“Oh man, don't make me laugh that hard, it hurts.” Andy wiped the tears from both crying and laughing out of his eyes.


	4. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightmares have started up for Andy finally, but it's getting closer to his release from this prison called a hospital. There is however one obstacle in the way of his freedom. A shrink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appologize if this chapter seems later than the others. I got a small bit of writer's block in the middle of writing this chapter, but luckily got over it. Thank you so much to everyone who's actually reading my story! I appreciate it so much! Here's chapter 4. Enjoy :)

“I'm tired of rumors starting  
I'm sick of being followed  
I'm tired of people lying  
Saying what they want about me  
Why can't they back up off me  
Why can't they let me live  
I'm gonna do it my way  
Take this for just what it is”  
“Rumors” - Lindsay Lohan

 

Working quickly, the guy pressed a knee into his side and the other forced between his legs. With panic Andy started to struggle as much as he could, screaming against the hand covering his mouth. The guy growled and plunged the knife into Andy's stomach, eliciting a muffled scream. Blood started to seep out of the wound, quickly soaking into the black shirt. The hand on his mouth stayed put, even as Andy tried to shake his head from side to side to dislodge the hand to no avail. Andy grasped the arm holding his mouth and tried to dig his nails in, though they were too short to do much of anything.

Andy whimpered and looked everywhere he could, trying to find anything to use as the guy released his hold on his mouth. When he saw absolutely nothing within reach, Andy let out a sob. The guy moved his body and used the hand with the knife to pin one side of Andy's hips as he got to work undoing the button and zipper on his pants. 

“NO!” Andy gasped for air, his heart pounding a million miles an hour. His eyes were wide with panic, his body shaking. After a few moments of trying to calm himself down, Andy ran a shaky hand through his hair and looked around the room. The light was quickly fading outside with hues of a sunset filling the room.

“Hey you okay, Andy?” Andy could Jake had just woke up from the way his voice sounded on his left. Looking over, Andy saw that Jake was looking at him with concern. “Wanna talk about it?”

Andy took a deep breath and looked at the foot of the bed in thought. Did he want to tell Jake about what happened? “It was about the attack. When the guy stabbed me.” He pushed the button on the bed so that he was basically sitting up and then laid his hands in his lap. Could he tell Jake that he was brutally violated? “You know, before yesterday,” Andy said with hesitation. He avoided looking at Jake and continued looking at his lap. “I couldn't understand why some kids felt the need to cut themselves.” If he'd been looking at Jake, he would have seen Jake's alarmed expression at the direction of the conversation. “But now-”

“Andy, no matter how bad it may seem, cutting is never the answer! You're better than that.” Jake's voice was stern with clear concern laced into his tone. Andy clenched his fists, getting angry.

“I thought I was too, but then I was raped in the middle of a dark fucking alley! I was powerless to stop it! I could have a fucking STD right now! Everything is...” Andy trailed off as a sob escaped him and tears welled up in his eyes. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms carefully around them as he leaned his head down. Jake was silent beside him, most likely too shocked to say anything. 

The silence was broken a moment later when the door opened to reveal Doctor LeStrange. Andy raised his head and stared at the doctor suspiciously with his red-rimmed and blood-shot eyes. Doctor LeStrange merely gave Andy a bright smile in return.

“Ah good you're up, Mr. Biersack. I have the test results for you. You'll be happy to know that they all came back negative for any STD's.” Andy breathed a sigh of relief. “Now, I failed to mention this earlier, but because of the situation last night..” When the doctor trailed off, Andy felt dread settle in the bottom of his stomach. “We want to keep you a little longer, about another day. We also want to have you start seeing a therapist first thing tomorrow.” Anger bubbled up in Andy's chest. He didn't want to see a fucking therapist!

“I don't need some person to tell me how I fucking feel Doc!” Andy glared as the doctor sighed. He heard Jake shift beside him.

“Maybe you should talk to a therapist, Andy. You need to talk to someone that can help you with what you're going through.” Jake was trying to help, Andy knew that. It didn't stop the rage that boiled over though.

“Fuck you! I don't fucking want to talk to any fucking therapist about my feelings or the fact that I'm a fucking rape victim!” Andy's fists were clenched and he could feel his finger nails biting into his skin on his left hand. The cut on his right hand was throbbing painfully. If he wasn't careful it would reopen again.

“If you want to be released any time soon Mr. Biersack, then you'll talk to the therapist.” Andy glared at the doctor, who met his glare with a hard stare of his own. “I understand you don't want to talk to a therapist, but right now you are under suicide watch and we cannot let you out of here without you talking to a therapist to make sure you're not going to try it again. We just want to help you. Don't you want to keep making music and be there for your fans? You can do that. Just see the therapist.”

Andy's glare faltered at the mention of music and the fans. He couldn't help but hate the doctor a little for the low-blow. With a moan of frustration, Andy put his face in his hands and rubbed his face forcefully. “Fuck. Fine whatever. I'll fucking see the stupid fucking therapist. Happy?” The doctor merely gave him a small smile and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I'll be happy when you're better. Ms. Young isn't that bad. I think you might even like her.” Andy just wanted to slap the smirk off of the doctor.

“I doubt it, but whatever.” Andy ignored the last look the doctor gave him before he started to move towards the door. After the doctor left, Andy threw up both middle fingers towards the door and then promptly ran his left hand through his hair as he dropped the other into his lap.

“Fuck man. I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you.” Andy looked over to see Jake running his hands through his long black hair. With a bitter snort, Andy looked away from Jake. “I'm not going to pretend to know how it feels to have gone through all of that. Just remember that we're here for you man. If anyone can get through this, it'll be you.”

Andy rubbed at his eyes carefully avoiding his nose, trying to wipe away any evidence of the tears that were threatening to fall. He didn't want to be here, or for his bandmates to see him like this. It was humiliating to know that they, well Jake and CC anyways, knew that he was raped. They'd never see him the same way again. Hell he couldn't even look at himself the same way. He felt broken.

The door opened again, revealing Ashley holding two steaming cups of what he assumed was probably coffee, since he wasn't allowed alcohol in a hospital. Ashley handed one of the cups to Jake and then walked over to the side of the bed and gave Andy a careful half-hug.

“Oh Fuck that's hot!” Andy snorted at Jake who was fanning at his mouth. Ashley snickered and carefully sipped his own drink.

“I'm surprised you're not picking up chicks or partying, Ash.” Andy raised an eyebrow at Ashley who dramatically put his free hand to his heart.

“Oh that hurts! You wound me!” Andy snorted and smirked lightly as he looked away from the two of them for a few seconds. “Anyways, when ya gettin' out of here, man?” Ashley snorted as he watched Jake take another drink from his coffee and cringe at the temperature again. After a moment, Ashley's attention was back on Andy.

Andy shrugged and tried his hardest to look nonchalant, however a slight grimace on his face, gave away the fact that he cared more than he was trying to say. “Don't know. I have to talk to a fucking shrink tomorrow morning to see if I'm qualified or some shit like that,” Andy said resisting the urge to rub the inside corners of his eyes. With a sigh, Andy realized the drowsiness was setting in again. Pain started throbbing in his abdomen. He clenched his jaw and tried to ignore it. With a groan, he twisted his body a bit so he could look at the buttons. It was getting dark fairly quickly now, and there was barely any light left, but it was enough. Finding the button that he was looking for, Andy lowered the head of the bed a bit before carefully rolling onto his side facing Ashley and Jake.

~

“Ungh.” Andy's voice was partially muffled as the hand pushing his head into the pavement stayed where it was. Despite the pounding headache and his vision swimming, Andy started twisting his body back and forth as well as trying to kick out. However, the guy was a lot stronger than he was and instead of loosening his grip, the guy put a knee into his spine between his shoulder blades painfully. Andy was effectively pinned, but he refused to give up just yet. The hand on his head was removed, allowing Andy to raise his head up a little.

“Please just let me go,” Andy said, his voice wavering. Just as he started to struggle, though less effectively this time, the sharp point of a knife was pressed into his side in warning.

“Stop struggling, or I will just kill you where you lay, bitch!” The guy's voice was full of anger this time, his patience being thoroughly tested, or just not even there. Andy was terrified and he had no idea if he was even going to make it out of this ordeal alive.

Andy shot up in his bed, eyes wide with panic. The brightness of the room caused Andy to shut his eyes quickly and bring a hand to help block the light from the window. When his eyes adjusted to the light of the room, Andy looked to his left only to see Jinxx staring at him.

“Nightmare?” Andy, still feeling the panic from the dream merely nodded and swallowed nervously.

“When did you get here?” Andy's voice was a little hoarse and he found himself wishing he had a glass of water near by.

“I got here a few hours ago. The doctor guy's still insistent on having someone here at all times. Well that's what Ashley said after getting the nurse's phone number.” Jinxx snickered causing Andy to snort in amusement. “Oh! The doctor came in earlier and told me to tell you that the Shrink is gonna be here about 11.” Jinx shook his bangs out of his face.

Andy scrunched his face looking around for a clock even though he knew it was useless. “What time is it anyway?” He brought his gaze back to Jinxx who checked his phone.

“Almost 10:30.” Andy nodded and looked around the room in boredom. Jinxx cleared his throat, causing Andy to look back at him. “So … rumors have already started going around as to what happened. Some of them are pretty out there.” Jinxx set his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “We've kept pretty quiet about as much of it as possible, but you know how fans are. You've been getting a lot of fan mail and get well stuff lately too.”

Andy nodded at Jinxx numbly and looked at the wall directly across from him blankly. Usually he didn't care about what the fans thought, but this time.. This time Andy didn't want the fans to find out, and he definitely cared about what the fans thought this time. The fans would find out eventually, he was sure of that. It didn't mean he wanted them to find out though.

“What are the fans saying?” He cringed a little at the hoarseness of his voice and the fact that there was a definite break in it.

“According to one person, apparently one of us stabbed you with a pen. I think the guy said something about thinking it was over an argument too.” Andy looked at Jinxx in disbelief before he started to laugh and then immediately cringed from the stitches being shifted painfully. Laughing still hurt, right.

“A pen?” Jinxx just shook his head when Andy looked over at him. “Wow, that's insane. People are insane.”

“According to another rumor, and Ashley told me this, apparently you somehow managed to impale yourself on CC's drum set.” Andy snickered and just shook his head.

“Wow, okay. Remind me not to ask what the fans assume happen to me in the future.” Jinxx snorted and made a lazy attempt at a salute.

~

The door opened, causing Andy to look over from Jinxx's phone where he was showing him some funny videos. Andy could only stare in disbelief as a girl that couldn't have been any taller than 4' 9” and tan skin walked through the door. Her hair was a light brown with blonde highlights, which would have been fine normally, but her hair was in the style of long dreadlocks. She was wearing heavy eyeshadow and eyeliner, and had multiple piercings. To top it all off, the girl, or woman, he couldn't tell her age, was wearing brown leather flip flops, a brown tie-died calf-length skirt and a green shirt that Andy thought could have come straight from the 60's. Just who was this lady? 

Andy watched in fascination as the girl looked around. “Hey dudes! Which of you is Andy Ballsack?” She squinted at her clipboard that Andy didn't even know she had. He gritted his teeth.

“It's Bier-sack, not Ballsack.” The girl looked at her clipboard and back to Andy again. Andy glanced at Jinxx discreetly. Jinxx was obviously trying not to laugh outright.

“Oh, dude it totally is! My bad, man. I may be a little stoned right now. My name's Tea Young, and I'm totally your shrink. Just call me Tea.” Andy's jaw opened slightly in complete shock. 'What?? She's my shrink? Was the hospital on crack or something when they hired her??'

With a not-so-subtle snicker, Jinxx got up and patted Andy's shoulder with a wide smirk. “I think I'm going to leave you and your 'shrink' to it, man. I'll come back afterward.”

“What? You can't leave me here with her?!” Andy whispered harshly at Jinxx with a glare on his face. Jinxx just shook his with a laugh and started to leave.

“I'll leave you and Mr. 'Ballsack' to it, Miss Young.” The girl merely waved at him absently and focused on her clipboard that she was having trouble reading. “Have fun Andy.”

“Fuck you Jinxx! Fuck you!” Andy glared and threw the middle finger at Jinxx as he got to the door. With a click, Jinxx was gone, leaving Andy alone with his stoner of a shrink. “Great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I used lyrics from Lindsay Lohan, however I tried to find lyrics that fit this chapter, and well...this chapter was a little unique, so I went with these lyrics.
> 
> Tea is an OC one of my besties came up with, but I love her and had to use her, so ta-da! I also had no idea what kind of questions needed to be asked in this situation, let alone questions tea would ask instead. If anyone has any useful information about that kind of stuff, I'd love to know!


	5. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tea leaned back in the chair and crossed her right leg over her left. After situating the clipboard again, she started to write in it again, giving the impression she'd ignored him. Andy seethed in his bed. He was really tired of his questions being ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait! A lot of stuff happened. Not that long after I posted Chapter 4 my computer crashed and I had to re-install windows on it. Luckily I was able to recover everything. After that I got writer's block when I tried to work on this chapter. Last weekend I went to see Black Veil Brides in concert. IT.WAS.AWESOME!! They are so much hotter in person! I just wish I could have had the opportunity to meet them. Oh well. After the concert I got inspiration and had it done earlier today then my computer restarted and I had to rewrite the last part of the chapter. So yeah. That all happened. But this chapter is here! I'm going to try to get working on Chapter 6 soon and posted as soon as I can. Hopefully a lot sooner than this chapter :P

“Why would I spend the rest of my days unhappy  
Why would I spend the rest of this year alone  
When I can go therapy  
When I can go therapy  
When I can go therapy two times a day  
Someone help me  
Turn around  
I'm a victim  
Hate the sound of my own voice  
Turn it down”  
“Therapy” - Mary J Blige

 

Andy stared in open suspicion as his supposed “shrink” twirled in a circle at the foot of his bed before squinting at her clipboard again for the third time in the span of a minute. Once she was done squinting at said clipboard, she turned to Andy with a serious look. He really wasn't sure what to think about her, he really wasn't. 

Tea nodded silently after a moment of tense staring between the both of them and walked to the left of Andy's hospital bed to take a seat in one of the two chairs. Andy raised an eyebrow at the strange woman when she decided to sit sideways so that her feet were hanging off to the side.

“So Dude, what's up?” Tea placed her clipboard in her lap and turned her head to look at Andy. Andy however, merely shrugged and looked down at his hands resting in his lap.

“Nothing, I guess? I'm in a fucking hospital and I would kill for a cigarette right now. I'd also love to go home too, but you know..” Andy trailed off as he glared at his lap. After a moment, Andy wrapped his arms around his middle. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tea nod her head.

“Dude, I totally understand! Hospitals are like cages, man!” She looked at Andy with a wide-eyed expression. Andy turned his gaze to her and just nodded warily back in hesitant agreement.

“So, seriously, what kind of therapist smokes pot before seeing their client, patient whatever the hell the term is?” Andy raised his eyebrow at her as she stared at him as if he was a moron. Tea wrote something down on her clipboard.

“Psh, the best kind. Duh.”

Andy gave her a weird look and just shook his head as he moved his gaze to the blank TV on the wall across from him. This wasn't turning out to be what he had been expecting for a therapy session. He expected a professional at the very least asking stupid questions with Andy ending the session by telling him to fuck off. Instead he got the hippie. She was the person who was going to determine if could leave or not? He was pretty sure he was doomed to stay in the hospital for who knows how long. Great.

“So are you going to like ask any of the usual questions? You know those questions you're supposed to be asking?” Andy turned his gaze to Tea and gave her a hard stare. Tea returned the look with a calculating gaze.

“Nah dude, those questions are boring! I ask the most awesomer questions ever. Dude is that even a word? Because it should be.” Tea looked at her clipboard for a moment before looking up again. “Duuude I want Cheetos. We should get Cheetos.” Tea nodded and tapped her chin in thought for a moment.

Andy, getting frustrated at this point, angrily ran his left hand through his hair, pushing the black locks back out of his face. “Fuck me,” he muttered as he looked up at the ceiling almost pleadingly. He just wanted out of here.

“Alright Mr. Ballsack, time to get down and dirty with this shit.” Tea clapped her hands once and nodded as she turned her attention back to Andy.

“It's BIER-sack. We just fucking went over this.” Tea merely continued on talking as if she hadn't heard him, causing Andy to throw his hands up in the air.

“So you like Fuck- oh wait I'm not supposed to say that word, oops.” Tea giggled childishly. “So you messed up your wrists or some shit, right?” Tea twisted in the chair so that she was facing Andy with her feet on the floor again. “Hey, dude! Are they gross?” Tea leaned forward closer to Andy's face with an expression of curiosity. Andy leaned his face away from hers.

“I don't know, I haven't seen them since I decided to fuck my wrists up like a crazy person.” Andy scrunched his face in confusion when Tea looked down disappointed. 'Seriously, what's wrong with her?' He mentally shook his head of the thought as Tea looked back up at him with a gleam in her eyes.

“Ohh can I see them?” Tea leaned forward and moved to grab his wrist, but Andy quickly pulled his wrist away from her grasp.

“No, you can't look at them. They're wrapped up anyway, in case you forgot about that. Why the hell do you want to look at them anyways?” Andy half-way glared at Tea, absently rubbing the bandage on his left wrist, being careful of the stitches.

“Dude, stop being such a downer. Just totally want to see if they're gross-looking or not.” Tea pouted for a second then shifted the clipboard in her lap to start writing on it again. Or doodling. At this point Andy wasn't sure what the hell she was actually doing with it.

“You are seven kinds of crazy, fucking Christ.” Andy ran his hand through his hair again and just looked at the wall in front of him with a bewildered expression.

“Crazy is in the eye of the Potato gun.” Andy looked at Tea with a wide-eyed bewildered face. Tea scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. “Wait, that's not it. Is it Crazy is a state of crackers? Dude we need crackers!” Tea blinked at Andy who merely blinked back at her, trying to bite back the rude comment he wanted to make.

“The hell does that mean? I had a mental break down, sliced my fucking wrist open with a broken mirror shard, panicked when people tried to help me and ran away, bit a doctor, got knocked out with sedatives, and you're here talking about crackers, Cheetos and potato guns? You're supposed to be evaluating me or some shit, so are you going to do that or what?” Andy crossed his arms as best as he could and glared at the dubious therapist. 

Tea leaned back in the chair and crossed her right leg over her left. After situating the clipboard again, she started to write in it again, giving the impression she'd ignored him. Andy seethed in his bed. He was really tired of his questions being ignored. After a moment Tea reached inside her shirt, digging something out. When she found what she had been looking for, she took out what looked like a long thin red balloon. He could only stare in disbelief.

“What would you like?” Andy gaped at her with his jaw open. Balloon animals, seriously?

“I don't fucking know. I'm not fucking 8 years old. You pick something.” Andy stared as she thought for a moment then put the red balloon back in her bra and started fishing for a different one. After a moment she pulled out several green balloons with a grin on her face.

“Okiedokie Balls.” Andy wanted to strangle Tea at that moment, but settled on just glaring at her. He watched, the glare still on his face, as Tea began to blow up the first one and started making all sorts of twists on the balloon before blowing up another one. He kept watching, trying to puzzle out what she was making with so many green balloons. After doing various twists on the second one, Tea started to blow up another one. It was then that Andy realized what she was making.

“Oh my fucking God, seriously?” Andy sighed and put his left hand to his forehead. After a few more moments Andy looked up to see a fairly large balloon pot leaf. Really he should have seen this coming. When Tea was done she grinned and handed him the large pot leaf. He took it hesitantly and set it down on his lap. Boy were the guys going to get a kick out of this. Probably at his expense too. Though, Andy did have to admit he was impressed. His lips twitched upwards for a moment as he glanced at his therapist. “Alright, even if it is a pot leaf, it's pretty impressive. Where'd you learn that anyways?”

Andy played with the balloon in his hands as he kept glancing back to Tea. Tea had her finger to her chin, her face scrunched in thought. After a moment she shrugged. “I totally don't remember!” A giggle left her as she started writing on her clipboard again. There were a few moments of silence as Tea finished writing on her clipboard. “So dude,” she started in a tone of voice that made Andy mentally cringe. He wasn't going to like what she was going to say. “If you were already here when you got those gnarly cuts, what'd ya come for?”

Andy paled considerably as his heartbeat started to race. He took a shaky breath and ran his hand through his hair, trying to calm himself. He had been hoping they'd avoid this subject. A part of him knew that they would get to this topic eventually, but that didn't mean that he wanted to talk about it. His gaze was directed towards his lap and the pot leaf balloon that was resting there.

“I was attacked after a show.” Andy started to play with the balloon again as he kept avoiding Tea's gaze. He could feel his shrink's gaze on him, and mentally willed her to look away.|

“Dude, that's it? I want details man! Did you bleed a lot? Was it gross?” Andy looked over to Tea with a glare. Tea's expression was one of curiosity and interest.

“I was beat up in an alley and then raped. I was stabbed so, yeah I guess I did bleed a lot.” Andy absently rubbed the bandages on his abdomen as his thoughts drifted back to that night. Flashes of the night played before him at random intervals. He moved his hands to wrap around himself. Beside him, without looking, he heard Tea start to write on the clipboard again.

“Dude, that sucks. Whatcha gonna do about it?” Andy looked over to Tea, who this time wasn't looking at him, but concentrating on her clipboard.

“Honestly I don't know. I just want everything to go back to normal. I hate feeling like I'm broken.” Andy mentally cursed himself as he felt the tell-tale feeling of tears forming. The scratching of a pen on paper indicated that Tea was more writing on her clipboard.

“Are you?” The question threw Andy for a moment, causing him to look over at a serious-faced Tea. Andy gulped as she stared at him, obviously waiting for an answer. A part of him wanted the strange Tea back, he realized.

“It sure feels like it.” Tea made a 'hmm' noise, reminding him of those therapists on TV. He definitely wanted the strange Tea back. Andy glanced at the clipboard, watching as Tea wrote on it, but unable to read what she was writing. He was surprised to see actual writing though.

“Alright Balls, me thinks I has what I needs. I'll send in Doc, kay?” Tea grinned at Andy and gave him the peace out sign before getting up and leaving the room, leaving Andy bewildered. It was over just like that? How in the hell did she get what she needed? With a sigh, Andy rubbed his face, being careful of the bridge of his nose and the bruises there.

It was several minutes before the doctor entered the room. Doc strange pushed his long blonde hair out of his face and gave Andy a kind smile. Andy didn't bother smiling back and just put his arms around his waist. He stared at the doctor as the doctor took notes of the various machines on his own clipboard.

“Well I talked to Ms. Young. She seems to think that you should be okay to leave tomorrow.” Andy breathed a sigh of relief. He was really tired of being in a hospital. “I am surprised that I haven't seen your family, Mr. Biersack.” A cold feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.

“I don't want them to know. I can't even tell the rest of the guys what happened.” 

“Well that is your decision. Now, Mr. Biersack, the detectives have arrived not long ago. They would like to talk to you. I'm going to go get them so they can talk to you and I will be back afterward. Hang in there.” Doctor LeStrange placed a comforting hand on his shoulder for a second before removing his hand and leaving through the door.

A few minutes went by before the door opened again. The familiar face of Detective Hart appeared, but no Detective Dallas followed him this time. Detective Hart nodded at Andy with a strained smile. Andy tried to smile back, but only succeeded in grimacing. 

“Did you catch the guy?” Andy cringed at the shakiness of his voice. After a second he started to play with the green pot leaf balloon in his lap again. Distracting himself didn't seem to be working.

“No we haven't, I'm sorry. We have had descriptions of a similar guy attacking several other people, so we have reason to believe we're dealing with a serial rapist.” What felt like ice flooded Andy's veins at that. The guy was still loose and still attacking people. 

“He's still out there? Is...is there a chance he might come after me again?” Andy wrapped his arms around his middle protectively, leaving the balloon in his lap. He looked at the detective with a scared look. Detective Hart scratched his chin and sighed sadly.

“We're not sure. It's a possibility, however most rapists don't revisit victims.” The word victim made Andy cringe.

“Okay. Thanks for you know..” Andy gestured instead of finishing his statement. The Detective nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile. After a moment the guy took out a piece of paper and wrote something on it, before giving it to Andy. It was a phone number.

“If you need anything at all, that's my number. We'll get him, Mr. Biersack.” Andy nodded but kept quiet in reply. Detective Hart stayed a moment longer before coughing once in slight awkwardness and leaving the room. 

It was several moments before Andy realized he was holding his breath, and released it shakily. Tears pricked his eyes, and he didn't bother to stop them this time. After a few moments, Andy sat up and gingerly wiped his eyes dry, being careful to avoid the bridge of his nose and the bruises there. With a sniffle, Andy adjusted the balloon in his lap so that it was sitting on his feet and scooted to the foot of the bed. Once at the foot of the bed he carefully crossed his legs, being mindful not to aggravate any of his wounds. When he was sat the way he wanted, he held the balloon again. He looked down at it, but his mind was a million miles away.

His attention was torn away from his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. Andy looked up to see Jake and Jinxx walk through the door. With a sniffle, Andy gave them a shaky smile. The two of them smiled back. Jake looked down at the balloon in Andy's lap and gave Andy a questioning glance.

“What's with the huge Balloon Pot Leaf?” Andy snorted as he glanced at the balloon.

“My therapist made it for me.” Andy fidgeted with the balloon, avoiding looking at either of them. Jake and Jinxx stopped at the foot of the bed for a moment.

“So what did the Shrink decide?” Andy scowled at the mention of his therapist, but sighed.

“They're supposed to be letting me out tomorrow. That lady was bat shit crazy.” Andy grinned when he felt Jinxx and Jake clap his shoulders.

“Sweet! Finally! They going to let you back to work, you know?” Andy shrugged at Jinxx.

“I don't know, the doctor hasn't told me yet. He'll probably tell me tomorrow.” Jake and Jinxx nodded and moved to sit down in the chairs.

Just as Andy was going to twist his body to face Jake and Jinxx, the door opened to reveal a short petite red head rolling in a tray of what appeared to be unappetizing hospital food. He could honestly say he didn't care for hospital food. 

“Hello boys. I'm just here to give Mr. Biersack his lunch.” She didn't smile, instead just went ahead and got everything set up for Andy, who looked at the food with distaste. When she was done, she left without another word. 

“Wow she was...cheerful.” Andy snorted at the sarcasm in Jake's voice and picked up the fork. He stared at the food with disgust and pushed the table thing away from him.

“Hospital food is so disgusting. I can't wait to get out of here and have a million cigarettes. And a drink. God I need a drink.” Jake and Jinxx nodded.

“Amen, man,” Jinxx said with a grin. Maybe everything would be okay.

 

If only he knew that it was just the calm before the real storm hit.


	6. One Step Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy nodded as Dr. LeStrange's pen scratched along the surface of the paper. Within a few seconds two slips of paper were handed over to Andy. The doctor clapped Andy's shoulder gently and gave him a smile. “I want to see you in a week to check up on those stitches alright?” Andy nodded almost excitedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally figured out the direction the romance is going and I have to say, I wasn't expecting it. It'll be interesting that's for sure :P Without further ado, here's the next chapter!

“I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again”  
“One Step Closer” - Linkin Park

Andy was sitting up in his bed, after having been unable to sleep the night before. Today was the day he was going to be released, and God was he ready to get out of here. Orange hues filled the room with their early morning day light. It was colder in the room than Andy would have liked, but luckily it was absolutely freezing. That didn't mean he was going to get out from under the hospital blankets any time soon though. Unless of course it was to put some real clothes on besides this flimsy hospital gown that didn't cover everything. 

Andy felt lonely sitting in the room alone. It left him to his thoughts and memories of the night of his attack. If he was honest with himself, he was just as terrified to be out in the real world as he was excited to leave this place. The guy was still out there. What if he was attacked again? 

He looked around the room, studying it again out of boredom. The pot leaf balloon that his shrink had made for him, rested in one of the chairs next to the bed. The machines to his right still beeped in his ear, the TV across form him was black. Not for the first time since waking up the first time here, Andy found himself completely and utterly bored.

It was an hour later, when someone came walking through the door. The door opened to reveal CC and Jake, the latter carrying a shopping back. CC and Jake gave Andy a smile as Jake walked over and set the bag at the foot of Andy's bed next to his feet. Once the bag was set down, they both moved to either side of the bed and took turns giving Andy a crushing hug (being mindful of certain injuries of course). After they both pulled back, Andy gave them a huge grin and grabbed the bag, pulling it into his lap so he could peer inside. 

“Ah man, you guys rock! Real clothes! Fuck yeah!” Jake and CC both laughed as they made their way to the chairs on Andy's left. Andy opened the top of the bag and looked inside. He pulled out the boots that rested on top and set them on the bed next to him. In the bag was a pair of jeans with the knees torn open, a black Misfits T-shirt, a pair of socks, and finally a pair of boxer briefs. With a wide grin, Andy put the clothes back inside the bag, with the boots resting on top. It was hard for him to resist the urge to get up and get dressed right away.

“Any idea when the Doc is gonna let you out yet today?” Andy shook his head at CC, his grin fading a bit.

“Nope. I haven't seen him yet. I hope it's fucking soon. Can't wait to get the fuck out of here.” Andy brushed his hair back with his hand as he looked at Jake and CC.

“Me too. Don't get me wrong, I love having time off, but I'd rather go play shows.” Jake nodded in agreement to CC's words.

“Yeah, and it's not the same on the bus without your complaining,” Jake said with a laugh. CC laughed as Andy gave them a smirk and flipped Jake off. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever fuckers.” Andy waved dismissively at Jake, a smile still on his face. When the door opened, Andy sat up a little straighter, mentally hoping it was the doctor. The grin Andy wore was so wide it almost split his face in half when the doctor walked through the door with a bright smile of his own.

“Hello boys. I imagine Mr. Biersack you're itching to get out of here, am I right?” Dr. LeStrange smiled and nodded at CC and Jake before turning to the machines to look at the information there. In one hand was a blood pressure wrap, in the other his clipboard.

“You have no fucking idea.” Dr. LeStrange laughed as he set the clipboard and blood pressure wrap on the bed next to Andy's thigh.

“Alright, well before we can release you, I'm going to just get your vitals one last time, get you your prescriptions, and then we'll have the nurse come in with your paperwork and after care instructions.” Andy nodded, resisting the urge to fidget excitedly in the bed. Dr. LeStrange put the ear pieces of the Stethoscope in his ears and held the round metal part up to Andy's chest. “Deep breath for me. Good.” The round piece was moved to a different spot. “Deep breath. Good.” The doctor moved the piece to about where his heart was and listened for a few moments. “Looking good so far. Alright hold out your wrist for me and try to relax.” He put two fingers on a pulse point in Andy's wrist and held out his left hand to look at his watch. After 30 seconds of silence, the doctor released Andy's wrist and wrote down his findings on the clipboard. With a smile, Dr. LeStrange grabbed the blood pressure wrap and started to wrap it around Andy's arm and Velcro'd it closed. 

When the doctor was done, Andy looked over. “So everything looking good Doc? I can go?” Doctor LeStrange laughed as he finished writing down his findings. After he was done with that he looked up at Andy with a smile.

“It sure does. One moment, I'm going to get my prescription pad real quick, then we'll get the nurse in here.” Andy sighed and looked around the room again before looking at CC and Jake. CC was bouncing his knee up and down and started tapping out a beat with his fingers. He snorted as he recognized the beat to The Legacy. 

“I can't wait to get out of here. This place is so fucking boring.” Jake chuckled in agreement.

“Yeah, I can imagine. I would go insane without my guitar if I had to be stuck in a hospital.” Andy and CC both snickered with Jake joining in. It was then that the door opened again to reveal the doctor with a pad in his hand.

“Alright Mr. Biersack. I'm going to prescribe you 15 mg of Oxycodone for pain when needed and an Antibiotic ointment to help against infection in the wounds on your wrist, hand, and stomach.” Andy nodded as Dr. LeStrange's pen scratched along the surface of the paper. Within a few seconds two slips of paper were handed over to Andy. The doctor clapped Andy's shoulder gently and gave him a smile. “I want to see you in a week to check up on those stitches alright?” Andy nodded almost excitedly. He just wanted out of here. Beside him, CC and Jake laughed at Andy's excitement.

“Dude calm down. You'll get out of here soon. Just chill man.” Andy looked over and stuck his tongue out at CC, earning a laugh from Dr. LeStrange.

“Alright, Mr. Biersack. Just a few more things before you can go. No lifting anything heavy, try not to do any strenuous activity. Be sure to avoid bumping your nose if you can. I know you'll be going back on stage, just try not to do anything that will rip your stitches or cause further injury to you, okay?”

“Got it, Doc.” Andy tapped his fingers against his leg in anticipation. The doctor laughed a little and clapped his shoulder again before moving to the door.

“Alright, I'll get my nurse Lolita in here with your discharge papers, which will include instructions on caring for your stitches and all sorts of goodies like that.” Andy waved as the doctor disappeared behind the door. Luckily they didn't have to wait long. Within just a few minutes, the 'cheerful' redhead from yesterday appeared with a bunch of papers in her hands.

“Alright Mr. Ballsack, here are your discharge papers. Make sure to keep those because the papers to change the bandages are in there as well. There's a pharmacy down on the first floor. Just find the nurse at the front desk when you want to sign out.” Lolita dumped the papers in Andy's hands.

“It's BIER-sack. Fucking hell!” Andy glared at the rude nurse, who glared right back.

“Same fucking thing. Have a good day Mr. Whatever-sack.” Andy's jaw dropped open at her attitude and watched her stalk out of the room without glancing back or waiting for a reply.

“Wow, she's super cheerful isn't she?” CC's surprised voice barely filtered through Andy's head. He couldn't believe the nerve of some people.

“That's what I said yesterday.” When Andy turned to CC and Jake again, Jake was merely shaking his head.

“Whatever, I'm getting dressed. I'll be right back.” Andy unhooked the wires that connected to his arm before he shifted the papers and the bag of clothing so he could get out of bed. He carefully removed the blanket from his lap and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. As his feet touched the cold floor, he hissed at the cold and then moved to situate his hospital gown so as to help hide his bare ass better. Once that was done, he reached over and grabbed the bag of clothing with the boots and slowly made his way to the connected bathroom. 

When he opened the door to the bathroom, he stopped and stared at the broken mirror. He noticed that the shards had been cleaned up and no new mirror had been put up. Flashes of the night he tried to slit his wrist jumped to the forefront of his mind.

“Hey you okay, buddy?” Andy jumped and twisted around, clutching the bag to his chest. His heart was beating a million miles a minute. “Whoa easy there, man. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You were standing there for a good few minutes.” Andy grimaced at the concern on CC's face. He looked over CC's shoulder to see Jake right behind him with a similar expression on his face.

“Sorry, guys. I just..zoned out for a moment there. I was remembering a few nights ago. I'm okay now. I promise.” He gave them a hesitant smile when they looked at him as though they were unsure if he really was okay.

“You sure, Andy?” Andy swallowed and nodded, subconsciously taking a step back at CC's close proximity.

“Fine. I'm fine. I swear. I'll let you know if I need help with anything, alright?” It was a few tense seconds before CC and Jake both nodded and headed back to their seats. Andy released a breath he didn't realize he was holding and shut the bathroom door behind him. With a deep breath, he set the bag down carefully on the edge of the sink and took out the boots, setting them on the floor.

Getting dressed proved to be more difficult than he was expecting. A lot of the superficial cuts and bruises that hadn't needed any stitches were healing nicely, however the bruises still hurt. Not to mention he was still stiff and sore, even after several days of sitting in a hospital bed. Once he'd finally managed to get his boxer briefs on and the hospital gown off, he sighed as he grabbed and looked at the skinny jeans. This was going to be fun. With another sigh, he started to put them on gingerly, being careful of the stitches in his hand, wrist, and stomach. He'd managed to get his jeans halfway up his thighs when he realized he would need help.

“Fuck.” Andy let out a groan and looked up at the ceiling in frustration. Too bad there wasn't another mirror he could punch. With a cry of anger, Andy tried to pull up the jeans again, but cursed when the he felt the stitches in his wrist and hand start to pull. “Fuck it all to hell!” He kicked out at the toilet and cursed under his breath as pain blossomed in his toes.

A knock on the door startled Andy, causing him to spin around and fall into the wall shoulder first, luckily still upright and not sprawled on the floor. “Hey you okay in there?” Jake's voice filtered through the door. Andy groaned and started rubbing his shoulder. Once the pain subsided, Andy's face started to heat up. He wasn't alright. He couldn't even dress himself. After a moment of silence, a knock sounded again. “Andy?” With a sigh, Andy half way hopped and half waddled over to the door.

“I'm okay. Sort of.” Andy sighed and leaned his head against the door, his grip on the doorknob tight, but not too tight to cause pain or further injury to the stitches in his right hand. With a deep breath, Andy moved out of the way of the door and opened it, peeking out at Jake. Blood rushed to his face, heating up his cheeks from the embarrassment he felt. “I...I kind of...need help.” He sighed and opened the door to reveal his issue.

Across from him, Andy saw Jake's attempt to not laugh at him. Andy frowned, while Jake finally settled for a grin at Andy. “Alright well I guess I can try to help you with that.” Awkwardness quickly started to overtake the both of them. “Errr, how do you wanna do this?” Andy's face flushed again.

“Uhh, I don't know, I guess just grab them and pull them up?” Andy coughed nervously and placed a hesitant hand to steady himself on Jake's shoulder. Jake swallowed and nodded and with stiff arms, placed his hands on Andy's thighs awkwardly before grabbing the hem of his jeans. With a sharp tug, the pants moved up a few inches. Andy's eyes widened as he started to lose balance and fall backwards.

“Oh fuck, sorry!” Jake's arms snaked out grabbed Andy before he could fall completely. Andy looked up into Jake's wide eyes, his face heating up. With almost lightening speed, Jake righted Andy and looked away in embarrassment. “Do we, uh wanna try again?” Not trusting his voice, Andy nodded at Jake. “Alright. Okay.”

“Hey guys what's going on here. You two okay?” Andy and Jake both yelped and turned towards CC. Jake lost his balance and grabbed the door to balance himself while Andy grabbed the edge of the sink behind him. CC looked at the both of them with suspicion. 

“Fuck, man don't sneak up on us! Jesus Christ,” Jake said, trying to calm himself down again. Andy watched as Jake put his hand over his chest and bent over a little. 

“I couldn't get my pants on and uhh, Jake was trying to help me get them on.” Andy scratched the back of his head with his left hand as he watched CC's face go from suspicion to amusement.

“Just how tight do you wear your pants, Andy?” Andy flushed and glared half-heartedly at him. 

“All my jeans are like this.” Andy crossed his arms over his chest. “Will you just help us get my pants on?” CC laughed.

“Yeah whatever, I'll help ya.” There was a bit of uncomfortable shuffling in the tiny bathroom as Jake moved behind Andy, and CC moved in front of him. Andy put a steadying hand on CC's shoulder and another on Jake's as they both gripped his pants. “Count of three. One. Two. Three.” At three they both yanked and managed to get Andy's pants up where they were supposed to be. “There we go. All better.” CC grinned at a still blushing Jake and Andy. With a cough, Jake shuffled awkwardly around Andy and CC and left to go sit down without a word to either of them.

Andy turned around ignoring the fact that CC was still at the door of the little bathroom. He grabbed the shirt out of the bag and half-turned to CC with a raised eyebrow. Without another thought, Andy gingerly lifted the shirt over his head and put his arms through the shirt. It was a moment later when Andy tried to get his head through the collar that he realized he'd need help getting his shirt on without bumping his nose. “Fuck, I need help again.” He frowned as CC started laughing in the doorway.

“I kinda figured. Here let me help you.” CC helped Andy get the shirt on and with fast reflexes, grabbed the bag from the sink and took it out of the bathroom, leaving Andy staring out at him with his mouth opening and closing. Andy growled and picked up the hospital gown from the floor gingerly and turned off the lights as he headed back towards the hospital bed. He stared at CC, who was holding the socks in his hands with a smirk.

“I can put my own socks on you know.” Andy stared at CC with open suspicion as he neared the bed. When he was close enough, he plucked the socks from CC's hand before he could react and hopped up onto the bed gently. Being careful, Andy pulled his socks on then grabbed the boots that Jake held out to him. With a sigh he took the boots and carefully pulled the boots on with a little difficulty. Once his shoes were on, Andy got off the bed and looked to Jake, who stood next to him and then over to CC who was closer to the door than before and carrying Andy's paperwork.

“We good?” Andy looked around and spotted the pot leaf balloon resting against one of the empty chairs. With a small smirk he grabbed the balloon and nodded to CC and Jake. 

“Yeah I think so.” Jake snickered at Andy holding the balloon and shook his head as the three of them left the room. CC handed the paperwork over to Andy who took it without any complaints.

The trip down to the pharmacy and front desk was quiet. Andy twitched and folded his arms across his chest as they stood in the elevator. After a moment Andy started tapping his fingers against his arms. When the doors opened, Andy had to refrain from just bolting out of the elevator and started towards the pharmacy first. Once his prescriptions were in his hands, he headed over to the front desk nearby and signed himself out after making an appointment in a week. He'd have to make sure their tour manager Jon knew about it.

“Hey there he is!” Andy turned towards the main doors and smirked at Ashley and Jinxx who were waiting patiently. Well Jinxx was waiting patiently. Ashley looked as if he'd been crawling the walls. “How's it feel to be free finally?”

“Fucking awesome. Can't wait to sleep in the god-awful bunks and get back into the swing of things. Fuck it's so boring in a hospital.” Ashley laughed and slapped Andy's back. Andy watched Jinxx as he noticed the slightly awkward look on Jake's face and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah so let's get going. I want to get out of here.” With that they all filed out of the hospital doors and into the cool air. Andy slowed down a bit so the guys were slightly ahead of him and popped an Oxycodone into his mouth and dry swallowed the pill.


	7. World Falls Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy's fresh out of the hospital and decides to go out walking by himself. Is he going to find trouble? Or is trouble going to find him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to a lot of Seether when writing this chapter. I've been fighting a cold so I've been kind of out of it. So I apologize if some it seems rushed. I tried not to rush it. This is also by far the longest chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did writing it :)

“Must be something they're hiding  
Must be reasons that no one will dare to tell  
Must be something inside me  
But I don't think so anymore  
It's hurting again now  
And I don't need friends when I have foes like you  
It's hurting again now  
It's killing me to be here all alone  
Go away  
It's all the same  
There's more for me”  
“World Falls Away” - Seether

The first thing Andy did when he got onto the tour bus was find an unopened bottle of something really strong. With an 'ah ha' Andy picked up a bottle of vodka that had been conveniently resting on the kitchenette counter. It had been about 30 minutes since he'd taken a pain pill, so Andy was starting to feel the effects of the Oxy in his system. Clutching the bottle to his chest, he shakily made his way back to the bunk area, stopping before he got to his bunk. Still clutching the bottle with his bad hand, Andy twisted off the cap of the bottle with his good hand and took a healthy swig of the strong drink. Andy coughed as the alcohol started to burn the back of his throat. Looking behind him, he noticed that the others hadn't come back onto the bus yet and set the bottle down on his bunk. Who knew what they were doing.

With a shrug, Andy checked his bunk for an extra package of cigarettes. When he found them he realized with a start that he had dropped his lighter in the alleyway the night he'd been attacked. “Fuck me.” In anger, Andy threw his cigarettes back onto his bunk and grabbed the bottle of Vodka again. He opened the bottle and took another swig of the strong liquid. A part of him knew that he wasn't being smart about it, but he didn't care. Putting the cap back on the vodka as best as he could, Andy set the bottle down in his bunk again and grabbed his wallet and cigarettes before leaving the bus. Maybe he could find someone to borrow a lighter from? Patting his pockets, he realized he didn't have his phone either and went back onto the bus. It didn't take long for him to search his blankets for the phone. Before he moved to leave, he stared at the bottle again in contemplation.

“Better not.” Andy moved the blankets to hide the bottle from the others and turned to leave. Feeling the effects of the alcohol and the pill, Andy found out his balance had gone out the window fairly quickly. Stumbling over to the door of the bus, Andy paused for a moment and carefully opened the door. With slow and purposeful movements, Andy managed to stumble off of the bus with no further injuries. Closing the door behind him, Andy turned his blurry vision in both directions. He needed to find someone, or a store. A frown creased his face. Seriously, where was everyone? Frustration coursed through Andy as he started to feel hollow. It wasn't like he wanted someone to talk to or anything.

Andy stood up a little straighter and clenched his jaw as he started to stumble to the left towards the street. He stopped suddenly when the world started to tilt and spin suddenly. After a moment, the feeling passed and he started walking towards the street again, with his balance a little more intact. Once he made it to the street, Andy looked both ways again, debating on which direction to go. Mentally cursing, Andy ran his good hand through his hair, pushing it back as his vision started to swim a bit. Shrugging again, he turned right and started to walk down the street. It wasn't until he was already a block away from the bus that he realized once again he'd gone outside without a coat. He turned to the brick wall on his right and made to punch it but with an open palm. The pain in his good hand started throb as he turned back towards where he thought the bus was. Just as he started to walk back, someone bumped into his shoulder, causing him to fall backwards into the brick wall. 

“Hey, watch it!” A metallic clink near Andy's feet caused him to look down. There sitting on the pavement was his lighter that he'd lost almost a week ago. “What the...?” Andy bent down and picked it up, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. 

He stood back up and looked around, looking for anyone that matched the guy from that night. His vision started to blur and his breathing picked up as he spotted a figure across the street almost staring at him. The figure was blurry, but it vaguely resembled the guy. With panic coursing through him, Andy started to push his way through the people in the opposite direction of the bus. After having run a few blocks (with a few turns along the way), Andy stopped and looked around him again. From the corner of his eyes, he saw people staring at him as they passed by, but he didn't pay them any mind. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he looked around and saw nothing to suggest the guy had followed.

The phone started to vibrate in his pocket, but Andy ignored as he looked around debating where to go now. Since he hadn't exactly ran in a straight line, he was unfamiliar with where he was and where to go to get back to the bus. He ran his hand through his hair and started walking again. As he walked along the sidewalk, he pulled out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket and stuck it in his mouth. He flicked open his lighter and lit the white stick, sucking in the toxic smoke into his mouth and lungs. His eyes closed at the feeling of the nicotine in his system and exhaled the smoke.

“Fuck.” He took a drag of his cigarette again and looked around while he kept walking. Being as it was around mid-morning, there wasn't as many people walking the streets or too much traffic. After a few more drags of his cigarette, Andy felt a lurch in his stomach from the pain pill and alcohol in his system. Andy stopped and held onto a chain link fence next to him as the world started to spin violently. Unable to stand steady any more, Andy used the fence to lower himself to the cold hard ground. Goosebumps formed on his skin as the cold of November started to affect him again. People walked passed him, some giving odd looks to the singer, others not even looking his way.

Andy suddenly felt very alone. A wave of sadness ripped its way through him as he wrapped his arms around himself. The cigarette continued to burn in his hand, Andy having forgotten it for the time being. He could feel the phone in his pocket vibrate again, but he was too far gone in the lost and hollow feeling. The all-too-familiar feeling of tears burned in his eyes, the world becoming blurry. Andy brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. With a sob, Andy rested his forehead on his knees, allowing the tears to fall.

He'd been sitting in that spot for what felt like an hour (really it had only been about 15 minutes) before he was finally with it enough to react to his phone vibrating. He lifted up one of his hips so he could grab his phone. With a numb feeling settling in, he looked at the caller ID on the phone and clicked the answer button.

“Andy! God where are you? Me and the guys have been trying to get a hold of you for the last 20 minutes! We all went to talk to Jon and when we came back to the bus you were gone and wouldn't answer your phone. CC and Jake were really freaking out.” Andy looked down at the cigarette in his hands as he listened to Jinxx continue on. After taking a drag of the cigarette, Andy smothered the cigarette out on the sidewalk and stared at the wrist that he'd tried to slice open.

“I..I'm okay. I'm on some street with an empty lot behind me. Sorry for worrying you guys.” Andy cringed internally at the hollow sound of his voice. His voice sounded dead, even to him.

“Are you sure, Andy? Because you don't sound it. Look, tell me what road you're on, and we'll come find you and bring you back, alright?” Andy nodded absently, only half paying attention before remembering that Jinxx couldn't see him.

“Err, yeah. Alright.” Andy sighed and stood up, leaning heavily on the chain-link fence again as the world was still spinning. He looked up and down the street to find a street sign, only to find none near by. “Uhh, lemme find the street name. I'll call you back when I find it.” With a click, he hung up, not giving Jinxx any time to respond and stuffed the phone back into his tight-fitting skinny jeans. 

He took a deep breath and started half-walking, half-stumbling towards the nearest intersection. When he reached the nearest intersection, he looked up at the street sign and squinted his eyes as he tried to read it. Once he had the name of the street he was on, Andy shuffled over to the building and pulled out his phone before sliding down the wall. With an exasperated sigh, Andy pushed the buttons to call Jinxx back.

“Hello? Andy?” Andy closed his eyes as the dizziness started to worsen again.

“Yeah, Jinxx. I'm on uuhh...NE 3rd next to some furniture sstore.” Andy grimaced at the slight slur in his voice. On the other end, there was a pause from Jinxx and some muffled voices in the background. They were going to know something was up after that.

“Alright, man we'll be there shortly. You sure you're okay?” Andy leaned his head up against the building and willed the nausea and dizziness to go away.

“Fine. I'm fucking perffect.” Andy clicked on the hang up button, cutting off Jinxx's reply and brought his knees to his chest again. Looking over his knees he saw that the street was mostly empty of traffic and passersby. He absently scratched his arm as he sat there waiting for the guys to pick him up. Hearing voices, Andy looked to his left and saw a group of suspicious looking guys walking towards him. At first it appeared as if they didn't notice him, but as they got closer he started hearing them talking about him. Unfortunately they'd recognized him as well, though they were obviously not fans.

“Hey look it's that singer fag from that band your sister's obsessed with Roy!” There was laughter among the four of the guys as they pointed at him. Andy glared at them and stayed silent, hoping they'd just pass by and leave him alone. No such luck.

“Hey yeah! What, poor little fag without his little groupies? Let's mess with him, huh?” A fairly well built and tall white guy wearing a baggy white shirt and black shorts was grinning down at Andy. Andy tried to suppress the shiver of fear that was making it's way through him. With careful movements, Andy stood up and kept staring at the guys in caution as they neared him. He looked behind him towards the intersection and made a mad dash for it.

“Get him!” The four guys started to run after him, causing Andy to panic more. Thanks to the alcohol and Oxycodone in his system, his running was slightly wobbly and unsteady. As he got into the intersection, a car's breaks screeched and came within inches of hitting him, horn blaring. Andy didn't stop though and kept running. Looking behind him, he saw the four guys still after him with angry looks on their faces. He kept running as fast as he could, trying to force the vertigo back. As he came up to another intersection, Andy's eyes went wide when he tripped over a slightly raised slab of concrete.

“Fuck!” Andy brought his hands out in front of him to catch himself. Pain bloomed in his wrist and hand at the stress against his stitches. Acting quickly, Andy got up unsteadily and cradled his hands against his chest. The guys were catching up, causing Andy to panic. He looked around him trying to figure out what he could do to hide from them. Seeing a high end looking store, Andy bolted for it and looked around wildly once he was inside. Two girls at the register looked up at him with matching wide looks of shock. “Do you have a bathroom I can use?”

The girls nodded and pointed to the back of the building. Andy tried to smile at them, but only managed a grimace. Looking behind him, Andy noticed the guys hadn't followed him in and made his way to the back where the girls had pointed. Just as Andy found the sign leading to the bathrooms, the door to the boutique opened up and the four guys entered the store.

“Tall skinny white dude in a t-shirt come in here?” The one Andy recognized as “Roy” sauntered up towards the counter. Andy crouched behind a rack of designer clothing and peered around to see what was happening. When the girls didn't come up with their answer fast enough, the third guy, another pale-skinned male with a backwards black baseball cap and baggy clothing pulled out a gun and aimed it towards the girls. The girls squealed in terror and immediately pointed to where the bathrooms were. The guy with a gun stayed behind and turned the “open” sign to closed as the other three started fanning out and making their way towards Andy. Andy's breathing started to quicken as he tried to sneak over to the doors to the bathrooms just a few feet away. 

Checking to make sure they hadn't spotted him, Andy snuck into one of the bathrooms and looked around. Seeing a lack of Urinals in the area, Andy realized with a start that he'd snuck into the women's restroom. Outside the restrooms he could hear shouting from the guys that were stalking him and quickly walked over to the furthest stall away from the door. With shaking hands, Andy pulled his phone out. Dialling 9-1-1, Andy closed and locked the stall door and moved back away from the door. Within seconds a lady's voice came over the phone.

“9-1-1 What is your emergency?” Andy took a deep breath, trying to prevent himself from hyperventilating.

“Uh yeah, I'm locked in a bathroom with four guys holding the store hostage.” Andy's voice shook from the fear as he looked around the stall to try to focus his mind. He couldn't believe this was happening.

“Alright sir, try to stay calm for me, alright? Can you tell me what your current address is?” Andy mentally cursed as he realized he had no idea the exact address.

“I'm in a store called Ohnja's or something on NE 3rd. I'm sorry I don't have the exact location.” Andy's eyes went wide when he heard the door to the bathroom open.

“Hey fag, where you at? We just want to play a little.” Andy bit one of his fingernails and tried to climb on top of the toilet as stealthy as he could. He kept the phone pressed to his ear, but ignored what the dispatcher was saying in favor of staying quiet. In panic, he moved the phone and pressed it to his chest as he heard the footsteps come closer. One by one, the stall doors were slammed open as the guy came closer to him. When the guy got to his stall he pushed on the door, grunting when it didn't open. “Well, well, well. I think we found a winning stall. Come out and I promise we won't hurt you too bad.”

Andy shook his head at the door. He really didn't want to come out of the stall. The guy pushed at the stall door again, this time with more force than before. The entire stall shook from the strain put on the door, and it was then Andy realized he was doomed. After a few more slams into the stall door and more taunts from the guy, the door finally crashed open, causing Andy to drop his phone on the ground. By that time the two other guys had joined the guy.

“You're ours now, Bitch!” The one named Roy shot forward and grabbed Andy's arm and forcefully dragged him out of the stall. The guys quickly surrounded Andy and Roy as Roy shoved Andy into the nearest wall away from the stalls. One of the guys kept his head pressed into the wall, pain blossoming in his nose from the pressure. Andy managed to turn his head to keep the pressure off of his nose, but started to panic even more when he felt hands travel down his body in a less than friendly way.

“No! Stop! Please don't do this!” Andy squeezed his eyes, trying fight them back. There was laughter from the three guys as they kept on with their groping him. One of the guys grabbed Andy's shirt and ripped it off of him. Tears made trails down Andy's face as memories from almost a week ago started to make their way to the forefront of his mind.

Andy couldn't have felt more relief than when he heard the police sirens nearing their location. The guys stopped their touching of him and looked at the doorway then back to Andy.

“You little Bitch! You called the cops?!” One of the guys, Andy wasn't sure which one, pulled out a gun and pushed it against Andy's temple. “We should kill you for that, huh?”

Outside of the bathroom, Andy heard shouting from the guy that stayed by the door and the police talking over loud speakers.

“We've got you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!” The guys growled and one of them grabbed Andy's arm and dragged him out of the bathroom, the gun still pushed against his head. When they exited the bathroom, Andy saw the girls talking to two officers outside with the fourth guy being handcuffed on the hood of one of the cruisers. Roy cursed and tightened his grip on Andy's arm, the barrel of the gun pushed harder into his temple. Outside police took defensive stances, guns aimed at the three guys.

“Let the kid go and come out with your hands up!” One of the other guys pulled out another gun and started shooting through the glass at the officers. Andy's heart was pounding in his chest and his ears ringing at the loud noise in his ears. All of a sudden the grip on Andy's arm loosened and Andy pulled free and bolted towards the door. Pain erupted in Andy's shoulder and a loud bang in his ears. Had he just been shot?

As he reached the doors, Andy's stomach lurched again and the world tilted. Time slowed down as he fell into the doors. The doors opened and he fell onto the ground. Muddled sounds reached Andy's ears but he couldn't make sense of anything. He felt hands grabbing him and pulling him up, though it was with more care than before. Andy felt as if he was in safe hands. Everything was blurry when he realized he'd closed his eyes and stumbled. Hands kept him as steady as they could, and he could hear someone trying to talk to him.

“My phone. I dropped my phone.” The world slowly started to come back into focus. There were faces above his and a light shining in his eyes. Andy cringed away from the light and noises started to become less muddy. Stinging in his shoulder jolted Andy back to reality and everything started to speed up again. 

“We'll get your phone, don't worry. Right now the paramedics are going to take a look at you alright?” Andy nodded, and promptly regretted it as the world started to spin again. In the back of his mind, a part of him noted that he could feel something warm dripping down his arm. He was led to a gurney and made to lay back as the paramedics started to work on his arm.

“Is there anywhere else that you're injured?” Andy thought for a moment and frowned in confusion. Was there? He lifted his hands to look at them, and sighed in relief when there was no sign he'd busted open his stitches. He shook his head lightly in a negative reply.

It was about 10 minutes later when Andy heard his name being called. A ways away there was CC, Jake, Jinxx, Ashley, and their tour manager Jon being held back by police officers. Andy looked at his left shoulder and saw that the paramedics were done wrapping it. He looked at one of the paramedics.

“Is it okay for me to leave yet?” A lady with brown hair wrapped in a tight bun shook her head with a comforting smile.

“Actually Detective Hart is going to need to ask you some questions and get your statement first.” Andy nodded.

“Can those guys over there at least be let through?” Andy pointed over to where his friends were standing clear worry on all of their faces. The paramedic looked thoughtful for a moment.

“I'll see what I can do honey, alright?” Andy nodded silently and waited for Detective Hart to come to him. He found it funny that of all the detectives for this, Detective Hart was the one that got assigned to it.

After another few minutes of waiting, the familiar face of Detective Hart came strolling up to him with Detective Dallas trailing him again like a lost puppy. Detective Hart gave Andy a look and sighed.

“Are we going to keep meeting under these circumstances, kid?” Andy gave the detective a hint of a smile before grimacing.

“I hope not.” After a moment the detective held out Andy's phone, who took it gratefully. Once he had his phone back, he went over the whole situation with the detective, answering any of his questions that he had. 

When they were done and Andy could leave finally, Andy hopped off the gurney only stopping to let the dizziness go away. He approached his friends and bandmates in hesitation and gave them a matching smile. CC and Jake were the first ones to reach him and they both enveloped him in a crushing hug that he returned. Tears fell from his eyes as Jinxx and Ashley joined in on the group hug.

“Fucking hell, Andy! After your disappearing act earlier, when we got to where you said you'd be and you weren't there we were terrified! Then police started to show up and we all thought the worst!” Andy sobbed, unable to hide the tears as they all pulled away.

“S-sorry f-for worrying you g-guys.” Andy rubbed at his eyes, trying to unsuccessfully stop the flow of warm tears. He clung to Jake and buried his head in the crook of Jake's neck, letting everything out. He could feel comforting hands on his back, rubbing circles, trying to soothe him.

He was unsure of how long they had stood like that before finally leaving to get back to the bus. All Andy was sure of was that he was freezing and completely worn out. When they had reached the bus, Andy fished through the pockets of his clothing and pulled out what he was looking for. After stuffing the metallic object into his pants pocket, he looked around for a suitable long-sleeved shirt that was mostly clean and headed for the small adjoined bathroom when the guys weren't looking. Once he was in the tiny restroom, he closed the door and looked at the tattoos on his arm. With a shaky breath, Andy pulled the metallic object out and flipped it open to reveal a blade and pressed it to the inked skin just below his elbow.

The first cut stung more than when he had taken a glass shard to his wrist, but the pain was grounding. Andy felt more in control and as if he could deal with everything. It was addicting. He cut a second line underneath the first and watched as the blood trailed down his arm into the small sink. It didn't take long for the two shallow cuts to clot, so Andy cleaned up and got rid of the evidence of what he'd done and put the long sleeve shirt on. He flushed the toilet as a cover and exited the restroom and walked over to where the guys were sitting and chatting.


	8. Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy would be lying if he said it wasn't awkward between them after Andy's breakdown in front of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Chapter 8! I had a few issues with this chapter, but my bestie IzabellaRiddle helped me and we got the chapter ironed out. It's another long chapter too!

“Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
This truth drives me  
Into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away  
If i will it all away”  
“Whisper” - Evanescence

Andy would be lying if he said it wasn't awkward between them after Andy's breakdown in front of them. When Andy had come out of the restroom all conversation between the four of the guys had ceased and they'd given each other uneasy looks. He could tell that the guys weren't exactly sure how to proceed around him and he wasn't entirely sure he was okay with that.

“Uh, hey.” Self-consciousness started to creep up on Andy as he watched the guys look at him and each other uncertainly. Andy wrapped his arms around himself as a chill started to settle in his bones. He could feel the tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. He hated it.

Andy gripped the door jam of the lounge area tightly as the room started to spin again. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jake and CC both get up and move towards him, though CC was closer. He swallowed thickly at the concern on CC's face.

“Hey you okay, Andy?” Andy blinked and allowed CC to direct him to the empty seat next to Jake. Once seated, Andy blinked again and grabbed his head, hoping to stop the room from spinning. He looked around slowly, taking in all of the concerned looks they were all giving him.

“Dizzy.” Andy blinked again as he felt Jake start to rub circles on his back. Over on another seat sitting next to Jinxx, Ashley stood up suddenly with an angry look on his face aimed at Andy.

“Okay, I can't do this. Just what the hell were you thinking out there?! You had all of us worried sick!” Andy balled his fists and glared down at the floor of the bus, anger flooding him at Ashley's outburst. “We just got you out of the hospital and you go and get yourself taken hostage?!” Despite the ever present dizziness, Andy shot to his feet, tears gathering in his eyes.

“Fuck you Ashley! It wasn't like I planned on it! You guys are the one that disappeared on me!” Andy shook with rage as he glared down at Ashley. Tears fell as Andy wrapped his arms around his middle and looked down at the floor, letting the tears fall. Sobs wracked his body. This isn't what he wanted. CC stood up and held his hands out, trying to calm down Ashley.

“Whoa man. We all want to know what happened, but don't freak out on Andy. This hasn't been easy on him, you know.” Ashley moved his glare over to CC.

“No, I don't know because you wont fucking tell us what happened!” Andy collapsed into the seat next to Jake again and leaned into the half hug that Jake was giving him. From the corner of his eyes, Andy saw Jake give Ashley a hard look and right then knew what he was going to do. Instead of stopping it, Andy buried his face into Jake's shoulder.

“Ashley,” Jake started in a soft but stern voice. “Andy was raped that night. That's why he's having trouble dealing. So a little sympathy would be nice.” Andy peeked over at Ashley and saw the look of shock on his face as he collapsed back into his seat. Beside him, Jinxx was staring at Andy with a sad frown. Looking over to CC, Andy saw that CC was giving Jake a strange look. Looking back to Ashley, he watched as Ashley ran his hand through his hair, a wide-eyed look of shock still resting on his face.

“Fuck man.” An apologetic look found its way onto Ashley's face. Andy wanted to punch him, but settled for standing up suddenly. “Fuck, I'm sorry Andy.”

“Forget it. I don't need pity. I'm going to go lay down.” Andy ran his bandaged hand through his hair and made his way back to the bunks.

Once he'd made his way to the bunk area, he made sure to close the door to the bunks behind him and felt around in his pockets. With a grunt, he pulled out his cigarettes, lighter, phone, wallet, and the pocket knife and set them on his blankets in a pile. After making sure the bottle of Vodka was still hidden where he'd left it, Andy climbed into his bunk and grabbed the bottle and the pile of stuff on his blankets before turning away from the pathway. It took a bit of wiggling and shifting before he managed to get everything situated. 

When he had everything in a suitable spot, he opened the bottle and with careful movements, he downed a heavy portion of the strong liquid, not even flinching when it burned and numbed his throat. He put the cap back on the alcohol bottle as best as he could and grabbed the knife. Flipping the knife open, Andy shifted and pulled up his sleeve to reveal the still red cuts along the tattooed flesh of his upper arm. Taking a deep breath, Andy pressed the blade against his skin and dragged it along the flesh in a long but shallow cut. Ignoring the stinging of the fresh cut, Andy pulled his sleeve down and shifted again so that he could fall asleep.

~~

It was dark when Andy was woken up by CC. The first thing Andy felt intense pain in his shoulder from laying on it. The second thing Andy noticed was the pounding in his head and the muddled voice of CC. Andy clutched his hand to his head and groaned as he turned over carefully in the bunk. The world started to swim back into focus and Andy whimpered and dropped his head back onto the pillow.

“Hey man, you need to eat and we ordered Chinese. You up for some food?” CC was giving Andy a hopeful look and he found that he couldn't say no despite having no appetite. Andy groaned and made a vague gesture of approval.

“Yeah, okay. Fuck. What time is it?” Andy felt around in his bunk until he found the small bottle that he was looking for and slowly made his way out of the bunk.

“It's like around 11 PM.” Nodding, Andy opened the pill bottle when he was on the ground and poured out a single pill and closed the bottle back up. He tossed the bottle onto his bunk and popped the pill into his mouth and dry swallowed that one too. When CC gave him a look, Andy merely shrugged and moved past him to where they usually kept the take out.

Dinner was quiet and tense with the guys giving each other uneasy looks. Andy was starting to get really tired of those looks. With frustration setting in, Andy started to stab at his Chinese food almost violently as he tried to ignore the looks and tension. It was ridiculous that him being attacked and raped in an alleyway could threaten to split the band. Unable to stand the quiet anymore, Andy set his plate down and looked up at the others.

“So what did you guys talk to Jon about?” Andy looked to CC when no one answered right away. CC coughed and set his plate down hesitantly at the hard stare Andy was giving him.

“We were asking him if it would be possible to stick around until you get your stitches out.” Andy balled his fists in anger.

“Did no one think to ask me, what I wanted?” With anger still coursing through him, Andy shot to his feet and headed towards the door of the bus. He heard someone shout for him to wait up, but he didn't stop or look back to see who.

The cold night air hit Andy like punch to the gut. At least this time he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. He felt hands on his good shoulder, causing him to slow down and turn to see Jake holding out Andy's coat for him. Andy's anger deflated a little as he took the coat and put it on gratefully.

“I figured you'd need this. We're all really sorry for not asking you first, Andy. But we all care about you and just want to make sure nothing like a week ago or earlier today happens again.” Andy nodded and looked back at Jake who was rubbing his bare arms.

“Dude, you came out here to give me my coat, but didn't bring one for yourself? At least I have a long-sleeved shirt on.” Andy raised his eyebrow as Jake gave him a sheepish grin. With a shake of his head, Andy shrugged off his coat and put it on Jake's shoulders, a small grin on his face. 

“This is your coat. That was the whole point of me bringing out to you. I can't keep this.” Andy snorted as Jake attempted to hand his coat back. With a grin, Andy took a few steps away from Jake, dodging Jake's attempt to give it back.

“I never said you could keep it, man. I love that coat. You just need it more than I do right now,” Andy said with a laugh. Jake snickered and looked down at his feet, as he put the coat on in defeat. When he was certain that Jake wouldn't try to give it back to him, Andy went and stood next Jake again bouncing on his heels a little bit at the cold.

“Thanks, man.” Andy looked down at Jake to see him hiding his face from him by staring at the ground.

“The last thing we need is for any of us to get sick on top of everything.” Jake made a noise of agreement. After a few moments of silence, Jake placed his hand on Andy's arm to get his attention. When Andy looked at Jake in question, he was taken aback when Jake's lips were pressed against his. A part of Andy wanted to melt into the kiss, but the other part of him wanted to reject the contact. Andy's body tensed right before Jake pulled away, cursing himself as Andy's stomach fluttered. He watched as Jake ran his hands through his long black hair angrily.

“Fuck, that was so stupid! I'm so sorry Andy! I don't know what I was thinking. I'm...I'm just going to go back inside. I'm sorry.” Before Andy could even comprehend what had just happened, Jake shoved Andy's coat back into Andy's arms and disappeared inside of the bus. Blinking Andy stared at the spot Jake had been standing at before and touched his lips with his fingers. 

“The fuck?” Andy ran his bandaged hand through his hair and frowned at his mixed feelings. A part of him had definitely enjoyed the brief kiss. Confused Andy started to slowly move towards the bus. As he got within a few feet of the bus door, the sound of something smacking into a metal dumpster nearby drew Andy's attention. The hairs on his neck stood up as panic bubbled up in his chest. Not wanting to stay outside any longer, Andy yanked open the bus door and dropped his coat onto the nearest empty seat.

“Hey what was up with Jake? He came in here looking kinda upset and went straight to the bunks.” CC looked at Andy's shocked face and frowned. Andy shook his head silently and motioned towards the bunks.

“I think...I think I'm going to go lay down. I'll see you guys in the morning.” Having turned and started walking towards the bunks, Andy missed the looks of concern Jinxx, Ashley, and CC gave each other.

~~

The next few days were extremely awkward between Jake and Andy and the guys had most definitely noticed. Andy was confused and Jake could barely look him in the eye without stuttering and leaving the room. There was also the fact that the nightmares hadn't subsided either, but that wasn't his main focus. He kept thinking back to the kiss and couldn't understand his own feelings. He'd always identified as straight, but now he wasn't entirely sure. The kiss had definitely been enjoyable to Andy and that confused him. He was also confused as to why Jake would like him like that when he was broken.

Andy brought his knees up to his chest in his seat on the bus as he stared ahead in thought. The sun was barely starting to peak over the horizon, as it was just after sun up. He'd been having trouble sleeping, even with as much alcohol as he'd been drinking lately. With a thoughtful look, Andy brought his left arm into his view and pulled up his sleeve to look at the cuts on his arm. Over the last few days since the kiss, the total amount of cuts had increased to 7.

“Hey, man. What are you doing up so early?” Andy visibly jumped from CC's unexpected voice from the kitchenette and quickly pulled his sleeve down. 

“I could ask you the same question. You're never up this early.” CC laughed as he poured himself a cup of coffee before moving over to sit by Andy.

“Trouble sleeping I guess. For some reason I just woke up,” CC said with a shrug and set his cup down on the small table. “Couldn't go back to sleep.” Andy nodded and played with the hem of his sleeve. 

“Same here, I guess. Hey can I ask you a question?” Andy eyed CC nervously from the corner of his eye.

“You just did, but sure go ahead.” Andy rolled his eyes at CC's attempt at humor and snorted.

“Funny.” Andy opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words. “Have you ever...had something happen that made you question everything you ever thought about yourself?” He could see CC giving him a look of worry. Andy let out a sigh of frustration and made a few bizarre hand gestures, leaving CC looking more confused than worried. “It's not about the ….the....that night..” When CC gave him a completely confused look, Andy ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

“I'm not sure I follow, man.” With a groan, Andy covered his face with his hands, being careful to avoid the still sore area of his nose.

“Fuck, how do I word this?” Andy removed his hands and stared at a spot on the wall closest to him and scratched his chin. “Alright, have you ever thought you were something, but then something happens and now you're not sure if you are what you thought you were in the first place?” He glanced over to see CC giving him a thoughtful look.

“Does this have anything to do with what's going on between you and Jake?” Andy flinched at the question and sighed before nodding at CC.

“Err yeah, kinda.” Andy grimaced and ran his hand through his hair again as CC sipped his coffee. “Okay, look. Don't tell anyone I told you this, but..” He paused and swallowed down his nerves. “Jake kissed me a few nights ago and I...I didn't hate it. I didn't think I was gay, but now...now I'm not so sure.” 

CC made a strangled noise of acknowledgment. When Andy turned to look at the older male next to him, CC's hands found their way to his face and CC's lips were on Andy's. Andy's eyes went wide at the unexpected contact. His stomach fluttered much like it had after Jake had kissed him. It was only a few seconds of contact before CC pulled away, but to Andy it had felt like a lifetime. 

“I like you, Andy. I have for a while.” Andy blinked at CC with wide eyes and swallowed thickly. He was having trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that in less than a week, two of his best friends had kissed him and now he was having second thoughts on his sexuality. CC was looking at Andy with an anxious look on his face, but Andy wasn't sure what to say. “Please say something, Andy.” A small squeal-like sound came out of his mouth as he stood up.

“I...I'm really confused. I'm just going to go lay down and...and...yeah.” Andy wrapped his arms around his chest and started to head for the bunk area. Once he got to the small hallway with the bunks in it, he looked down at the floor as Jake passed him quietly, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. Jake mumbled a greeting as he passed, but all Andy could do was hurry past him and squeak a reply.

~~

Andy bounced his knee anxiously as he waited for his name to be called. He was getting his stitches out today and he couldn't wait. He'd still have to be careful as the wounds continued to heal, but it was a big step for him. Then they could start touring again, and Andy was ready to tour and get back into the swing of things. Looking around, Andy noticed a couple with a pink baby car seat sitting on the ground in front of the girl. Curious, Andy looked over to another chair where he noticed a guy that was fairly pleasant to look at. Trying to be discreet about his staring, Andy frowned and realized the guy looked quite a bit like Jake. Maybe he did like guys? He'd never really thought about guys that way, and he had to admit, that both Jake and CC were very nice to look at.

Andy had been thinking a lot in the last few days, and he came to realize that he did in fact like Jake and CC both. It had been a startling realization and he couldn't figure out when it had happened. If it hadn't been for Jake and CC kissing him, he'd probably have gone on oblivious to either of their feelings and stayed in denial. 

It was another 10 minutes before Andy's name was called and when it finally was, Andy shot up from his seat and walked with the male nurse to the small room. Andy was patient and answered all the questions the nurse asked him, and did as he was told when the male nurse got his vitals. He was intrigued by the nurse, who had introduced himself as Wednesday. Between the questions, Wednesday had started to flirt with Andy in which he found himself flirting back. When the male nurse had left, Andy slouched on the uncomfortable hospital examining bed.

Yup. He was definitely not as straight as he thought he was. Andy ran a hand through his hair as he waited for Dr. LeStrange to come in. After a few moments of boredom and staring at the various medical pictures in the room, Andy held out his hand with the stitches and unwrapped it. He grimaced at the gross looking sight and gently poked the stitches. Flinching at the pain from the stitches, Andy carefully wrapped up his hand again. Looking over at his left wrist, he unwrapped it to look at the wound there. He noted absently that the cut on his wrist was healing better than his hand. After he was done looking at the cut, he wrapped his wrist up again and pulled out his phone carefully out of his pocket. He waited 15 minutes before the door to the room opened to reveal Doctor Lestrange. 

“Well hello, Mr. Biersack. How are you feeling today?” Andy shrugged when the doctor turned towards him.

“Alright I guess all things considering.” The doctor nodded as Andy pulled up his sleeve enough that the doctor wouldn't see the cuts on his upper forearm.

It didn't take long for the doctor to get started cutting and pulling the strings. When they were done, Andy was given more care instructions and was sent on his way. Once he got to the lobby he was surprised to see Jake sitting in a chair waiting for him. He stopped and watched as Jake flipped through a fitness magazine with interest. Andy raised and eyebrow and started making his way towards Jake.

“Uh hey.” Jake looked up and gave Andy a hesitant smile.

“Oh hey. Wasn't expecting you to be done quite so soon. CC's in the bathroom.” Andy's eyebrows rose. They were both here? With a shrug, Andy took a seat next to Jake and picked up a magazine. He looked over at Jake when he heard the older male start laughing.

“Cosmo? I didn't know you read Cosmo.” Andy smirked and just kept flipping through the pages, stopping to read various articles.

“It's entertaining sometimes.” Jake just shook his head and went back to his own magazine as they waited for CC. 

After about 5 minutes, Andy started to get impatient. “Alright, the hell is taking him so long?”

“I have no clue with him.” Andy tossed the pink magazine onto the table with the other magazines and ran his hand through his hair. A moment later CC started walking up to them with a sheepish smile.

“Hey, Andy. Sorry about making you wait guys.” Andy shrugged as he glanced at the both of them. They gave each other a look causing Andy to raise an eyebrow. Just what was going on? Once they got outside, Andy stopped and turned to both of them.

“Alright I have to know, what's going on? I saw you two give each other a look and you're both here picking me up? I'm just a little confused.” CC ran a hand through his long black hair pushing it out of his face with an uncertain look on his face. Andy saw him give Jake a look, causing Andy's irritation to grow. Jake scratched the back of his neck as he returned the look CC gave him.

“We should at least get to the car before we discuss this. We're still in a very public place.” Andy threw CC and Jake a dirty look and followed them to the car. Once they'd reached the car, Andy crossed his arms over his chest and stood there waiting for them to explain themselves. CC sighed and glanced at Jake as if asking if he wanted to go first. Jake shook his head.

“Alright, so here's the thing. We both like you. Like a lot.” Andy furrowed his eyebrows as he glanced between the two of them. He could feel a strange panic well up inside the pit of his stomach. Why would they like him? He was broken. “We both want to uh..fuck this is going to sound weird.. We want to start a relationship with you.”

Andy wrapped his hands around himself tighter as he stared at the both of them. He could feel tears welling up, but he forced them back. “Why? Why would you want someone as broken as me?” Before either of them could reply, Andy threw open the back passenger seat and crawled in, slamming it closed after him. Jake and CC stood outside of either side of the front doors for a moment, glancing at each other before CC opened his door and crawled into the driver's seat. With a sigh, Jake followed suit and climbed into the front passenger seat.

The car ride was painfully quiet and awkward. The whole ride back to the tour bus Andy had to refrain from taking his pocket knife out and cutting his arm. He wasn't ready for anyone to know about what he was doing to himself. After a few minutes of driving in tense silence, Andy spoke up.

“Can we stop by the liquor store? We're out of alcohol.” Andy avoided looking at the front of the car by looking out the window. He could feel Jake and CC's gazes on him, but he refused to look.

“Alright, I guess we can.” Andy wanted to cringe at the sadness in CC's voice. 

“You know, Andy. Even if you don't want the same thing we do, we're not going to stop caring about you.” Andy squeezed his eyes shut at Jake's words and let the tears fall. He may have come to the realization that he wasn't entirely straight as he once thought, but that didn't mean he wanted them to be dragged down with him.

“You shouldn't. I'm not worth it.” Andy's voice was soft, but from the look Jake was giving him, they had caught it anyways.

“Don't say that, man! Yeah you went through some crap so what? Shit happens to a lot of people. It doesn't change the fact that we care about you! If I have to be honest I've been crushing on you and Jake both since I met you guys.” Andy wiped at his eyes and stared at CC with wide eyes.

“Wow, I only recently came to realize my feelings.” Jake's voice was surprised. Andy sat in the back seat quietly, unsure of what to say to either of them. A part of him did reciprocate their feelings, but the other part of him wanted to hide away and suffer by himself even if he did return their feelings. He didn't want to drag them down.

It was only a few more minutes of driving before they made it to a liquor store that was open. Andy got out of the car before either of the other two and quickly walked in, not even paying attention if they followed or not. When he was done grabbing the bottles of liquor that he wanted, CC and Jake helped him carry the multiple bags of bottles of liquor and pointedly ignored their looks of concern at the amount of alcohol he'd bought.

“Not all of this is for me you know.” Jake laughed as they shut the trunk lid.

“I sure hope not. I think we could all use a night of getting drunk off our asses.” Andy's lips twitched upwards. 

“I need time to think...about your guys' offer. I just....I need time.” CC and Jake gave him a nod as they started driving to the bus again.

“Alright, man. We'll give you time.” Andy nodded and stared out of the window again.

It wasn't long before they arrived back at their home away from home. When they walked in to the bus, Ashley and Jinxx were both lounging at the little table drinking coffee. Andy was the last to enter, the other two having been insistent on carrying the alcohol for him.

“We come bearing gifts of alcohol! We're totally getting hammered tonight.” He saw Ashley's eyes light up.

“Awesome! What's the occasion?” Andy shrugged.

“Why not?” Ashley nodded in agreement. 

As the guys were busy going through the alcohol, Andy slipped out and headed towards the small on board restroom. Sliding the door shut, Andy brought out his pocket knife and slid up his sleeve to reveal 10 cuts at varying stages of healing. Flipping the knife open, he dragged the sharp blade across his skin, adding another cut. He sighed in content at the pain of the cut and waited for the cut to clot before cleaning up the blood on his arm and the mess in the small sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of another chapter! I do have a plan for this story! I'm not sure exactly how many more chapters there will be for sure, but I know at the very least there will be 3 more for certain! There may end up being more the way I write though :P And I do have ideas for bonus content after the story is finished like an alternate ending and various one-shots from the other guys' points of view. 
> 
> Also, feel free to tell me what you think! If you have any ideas for the story I'm also open to those too! :)


	9. Alive (N' Out of Control)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys find out about Andy's cutting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! Also this is my longest chapter yet! I had this chapter nearly complete, but half of what I had written would have completely changed the direction of the story, so I had to delete most of the chapter and re-write it. I do like what came out though. I had fun writing this chapter :) Also my estimate of the chapters left was probably way off. I do have a plan, i just don't know how many chapters will happen to make the plan be carried out :P That just means more chapters for all of you lovely readers ;) 
> 
> There was something else I was going to say, but I can't seem to remember. Hmmm Oh well.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to my dear friends IzabellaRiddle and Jazmine :)

“I'm alive! Sick of the pain I'm sick of the sorrow  
Sick of today I'm sick of tomorrow  
I'm addicted to the misery in my head  
I better stop before I end up dead  
So I climb to the top just to fall to the bottom  
And I climb to the top just to fall to the bottom”  
“Alive (N' Out of Control)” - Papa Roach 

After Andy had slipped out of the small bathroom and pulled down his sleeve, he walked over to his bunk and pulled out his pill bottle. He popped the lid open and poured out a single pill. Andy wasn't feeling physical pain per-say, but he found that it definitely helped to numb the emotional pain along side the cutting. He couldn't help but crave the feeling that he could handle everything when he took the pain medication more and more. A part of him knew he was going against absolutely everything he'd ever said to his fans, but he really couldn't bring himself to care anymore. He was broken, a husk of his former self. A failure.

Stuffing the pocket knife into his pocket and popping the pill into his mouth, Andy ran his good hand through his hair. A wave of dizziness hit Andy like a ton of bricks, causing him to nearly collapse on the ground of the bus in dizziness. Catching the door frame, Andy clutched the wall and frame with as much strength as he could muster. Closing his eyes, Andy groaned as his stomach started to roil. He took a deep breath as he stood as still as possible trying to let the nausea and dizziness pass.

It was a several long minutes before Andy felt that he could let go of the wall without rushing to the bathroom or falling over. Taking another deep breath, Andy ran his hand through his hair. He dug around in his pockets and pulled out his pack of cigarettes and his lighter and made his way to the door of the bus. A smoke break was definitely in order. As he passed the guys, he held up his lighter and cigarettes when Jinxx looked at him in question.

The air was freezing cold even in the middle of the afternoon as Andy stepped outside of the bus. He pulled out one of the cigarettes and stuck it into his mouth. Lighting the cigarette he took a deep breath of the smoke before releasing it into the air. Thoughts of self-hatred took over his mind. Unable to shake the thoughts, Andy moved over to the side of the bus and slid down by one of the tires. It took all of his self control not to take out the blade and cut more lines in his arm right there in public. Feeling the urge to cut himself again growing stronger, Andy pulled up his sleeve as he took another drag of his cigarette and stared at the cuts on his arm. Holding the cigarette between his index finger and thumb, Andy took the cigarette and placed the burning embers against a patch of bare skin on his left hand.

“Fucking hell.” Andy winced at the burning and hissed as he kept the cigarette in place a few seconds longer. Finally pulling the cigarette away, Andy examined the circular burn mark on his arm with interest. The area of the burn was stark white with a thick red ring around it, and Andy couldn't help but take some pleasure out of the stinging sensation he felt. He put the cigarette back in his mouth as he stared at his arm and the new mark on his skin, taking another drag of it.

Once he was done with the cigarette he smothered it against the pavement of the parking lot and sat there in silence. He pulled the sleeve back down as he started to get colder and huffed. Thoughts of the tour started drifting to the forefront of his mind, worry weighing him down over what to do about his arm. He wasn't ready for anyone to find out about what he'd been up to in his spare time, and everything he wore on stage was sleeveless.

Bringing his knees up to his chest, Andy wrapped his arms around himself and laid his head down. After a few minutes, the door to the bus opened up, causing Andy to raise his head and look at Jinxx with a raised eyebrow. Jinxx went over to Andy and sat on the cold hard ground next to him.

“Hey. You alright?” Andy shrugged, not bothering to look at Jinxx and just stared at the ground next to him.

“I guess. Just thinking. Gets too noisy in the bus sometimes.” Jinxx snorted in full agreement.

“You're telling me. They're in there arguing over the alcohol. Figured you could use some company.” Andy smiled bitterly and glanced briefly at Jinxx before looking at the ground in front of him.

“Thanks. It'll be good to finally get out of this city and get back on the road again. It kinda feels like I failed the fans, having to cancel so many shows, you know?” Jinxx made a non-committal noise as they both stared ahead.

“You haven't failed the fans you know. It sucks having to cancel so many shows, yeah, but we have the best fans any band could ask for. They'll understand. Hell some of them may know exactly what you're going through right now.” Andy could feel Jinxx's gaze on him but he kept his gaze by his feet. He could feel the tears building in his eyes, which prompted him to wipe at his eyes. “I'm gonna go back inside. It's fucking cold out here. You should come inside too.”

Jinxx stood up and waited next to Andy for his reply. “I think I'll stay out here just a little bit longer. Thanks.” He looked up and gave Jinxx a small, but genuine smile. Jinxx shrugged and disappeared inside of the bus.

~~

It was currently somewhere around Midnight, and as Andy looked around the bus, he studied the incredibly drunk forms of his bandmates. There was classical music playing in the background, and Andy briefly wondered who had let Jinxx choose the music. He, being drunk off his ass, stumbled past the passed out form of Jinxx and squinted at a very drunk Ashley making out with a random girl that he'd somehow managed to pick up in the seat across from Jinxx. With all of his inhibitions effectively drowned in liquor, Andy went looking for Jake and CC with a determined look on his face. 

Andy was drunk enough that he couldn't care less if he was a shell of his former self. At that moment there was one thing that he wanted. Or rather two someones. Looking around, he found the two people he was looking for sitting on a couch. He squinted at them, his vision blurring before he plopped into Jake's lap, who was sitting next to CC. CC and Jake's eyes widened at Andy's sudden appearance before them.

“Heeyyyyyy, guysss. Jusss' the guyss I'm looking ffforr.” He smirked at them, or tried to. His facial features weren't cooperating, but he didn't know that. “I've deccccided that I need tooo make oout with you both.” Andy stared at Jake's face for a moment before turning his head to look at CC. He gave them both a wide lopsided grin and immediately buried his head into the crook of Jake's neck. Wanting to make his point, Andy shifted so that he was straddling Jake's lap and rolled his hips into Jake's. Jake's breathing hitched at the friction between them and gave CC a look as he tried not to moan at Andy's actions. 

“You are very drunk. Are you sure you want to be doing this?” Andy ignored the uncertain look on Jake's face and bit the junction between his neck and collarbone. Hearing a moan from the guitarist, he started sucking on the bite area and licking the red spot. It was then that Andy rolled his hips into Jake's again. He moaned out loud when he felt a hardness between Jake's legs and rolled his hips into Jake's again. 

“I'm verrry suure I want to do thiss. CC, you need to get over here. Jake can't have all the fun.” Andy twisted from his spot on Jake's lap and tried to pout at CC. CC swallowed thickly, his eyes full of desire at what he was watching. Jake's hands found their way to Andy's hips as Andy kept rocking his hips into Jake's. He himself was completely hard at this point. With eyes dark with desire, Andy looked at CC with a 'come hither' look and stuck his hand up CC's shirt. It didn't take long for CC to scoot closer to Andy and Jake.

“Can't have that, can we?” CC's voice was full of desire as he stared at Andy's pouty lips. Andy smiled as he leaned over and put his lips to CC's. He rocked his hips again as he CC licked Andy's bottom lip, begging for entrance. With a moan, Andy opened his mouth and darted his tongue out to meet CC's in a sloppy battle for dominance (which Andy was losing, but hey, he wasn't exactly fighting that hard anyways). Absently he could feel a mouth on his neck and let out a mewl into CC's mouth when Jake bit Andy in the exact same area that Andy had bitten Jake. The hands that had been resting on Andy's hips started to slide up slowly and with feather-light touches as they slid underneath Andy's shirt. He broke the kiss with CC gasping when Jake's fingers found their way up to his nipples and started to pinch and roll them between his fingers. Squeezing his eyes shut at the sensations, Andy started to rock his hips into Jake's again. 

“Uhn, fuck.” Andy grabbed the hem of Jake's shirt and pulled it up. “Off.” Jake complied and let Andy pull his shirt off to reveal his toned abs. Not wanting CC to feel left out, Andy crawled over to CC's lap and promptly shoved CC's shirt up to place messy wet kisses on his chest. He stopped and shifted so that one knee was between CC's legs and the other between Jake's. “Better.” With a mischievous smile, Andy grabbed CC's shirt again and pulled it up and over his head. Once they were both bare-chested, Andy put a hand on CC's chest, and his other on Jake's. 

“How come we don't have a shirt and you do?” CC and Jake both started to slide Andy's long-sleeved shirt up. Too far gone in the moment, Andy let them pull his shirt over his head and toss it to the side. Andy shivered at the sudden cold air on his skin and froze when CC's thumb ran across his cuts. Andy's blood ran cold when CC's grip on his arm tightened almost painfully.

“What are these, Andy?” CC's voice was soft with concern and shock. Andy looked down as Jake shifted a bit and stared at what CC was talking about. Tears gathered in Andy's eyes as he wrapped his free hand around his middle protectively. He tried to jerk his arm free, but CC wouldn't let go.

“Andy, why?” Andy couldn't look at Jake, or answer either of their questions. Tears fell down his face as he tried to avoid their looks. CC used his free hand and made Andy look at him.

“Please tell us, Andy. We don't want you going through this alone.” Andy sobbed and squeezed his eyes closed again. He could feel Jake's hand on his shoulder in what was meant as a comforting gesture.

“Andy we want to help you. We care about you.” Andy opened his mouth and then closed it. He didn't know what to tell them. Feeling CC's grip loosen, Andy pried his arm free and quickly got up and grabbed his shirt and headed for the small on board bathroom. When he passed Ashley, he could feel Ashley's questioning gaze on him, but ignored the look and locked himself in the bathroom. He knew that Jake and CC were going to come find him, but at the moment he didn't care. His secret was out and he couldn't take it back. Dropping his shirt on the counter, Andy ran a hand through his hair as he tried to calm himself down. He could already feel himself sobering quickly. 

“Fuck.” Andy put both hands on the sink and stared down into the porcelain sink. Feeling angry at himself, Andy yelled out and punched the counter with his left hand. Pain blossomed in his hand as he brought his hand to his chest and cradled it protectively. After the pain subsided a bit, Andy flexed his fingers experimentally, only wincing a little. With the satisfaction that he was sure he hadn't broken his hand like an idiot, Andy went over and sat down on the toilet seat. He hadn't wanted anyone to find out. They'd call him crazy, maybe even ask him to get help, or worse: kick him out of the band.

A knock on the door startled Andy out of his thoughts. He looked over at the door when he heard CC's voice through the door. “Hey man, c'mon out and talk to us, please? Help us understand what's going on. You don't have to go through this alone.” Andy frowned and looked at the ground in thought.

“We're here for you Andy. We just...help us understand, please?” Andy ran his right hand through his hair, still cradling the left to his chest. He knew that CC and Jake were worried, hell who wouldn't be? That didn't mean he was ready to face the confrontation he knew was coming.

“Please just open the door Andy. We don't wanna have to break the door down.” Andy closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he flexed his hand again with very little pain. Standing, Andy slowly moved to grab his shirt, putting it back on before he faced the door. With his cuts covered, Andy unlocked the door and slowly opened before wrapping his arms around his chest protectively. From behind Jake and CC, Andy saw Ashley looking confused about what was going on.

“What's going on?” Andy sighed and had to resist the urge to pinch the bridge of his broken nose. 

“It's nothing.” Andy winced at the looks of disbelief on Jake's and CC's faces.

“Nothing? I don't think cutting yourself is 'nothing' Andy.” Andy glared at Jake and turned away from them all, hiding the tears that threatened to fall. 

“What do you want me to say? I'm screwed up now! I'm tainted, a broken failure of a human being! Now I'm a hypocrite too. I've turned my back on everything I've ever said to my fans, and you know what? A part of me doesn't care anymore! I want everything to go back to the way it was before, and it's not going to. I'm never going to be the Andy Biersack that fans knew and loved! I'm just...” Andy ran his hand through his hair as he trailed off, pulling on the strands a bit in frustration. “...broken.” His voice was barely above a whisper. He could hear CC and Jake's footsteps before he felt their hands on his shoulders. Despite wanting to shake their hands off, Andy allowed himself to be turned around to face Jake and CC. From over their shoulders, Andy saw Ashley and a confused Jinxx standing at the door.

“Andy...” Andy turned his gaze to CC as he put his hands on either side of Andy's face. “We just want to help you. We know you're suffering. We all care about you. We can't help you if you don't let us in.” He backed away from CC a bit, pulling his face out of CC's hands.

“I don't want you dragged down with me.” Andy looked down at the ground to avoid their gazes. He nearly gasped as they both brought him in for a hug and bumped their heads with Andy's gently.

“We're here for you, Andy. No matter what.” He heard the crack in CC's voice, causing tears to threaten to fall once again.

“Through thick and thin. You hear me? We'll all get through this. No matter what. We'll make sure of it.” At Jake's promise, Andy let the tears fall and squeezed his eyes shut as he melted into their embrace.

“Just, promise us one thing, Andy. One thing. Stop cutting yourself, please?” CC gripped the fabric on the back of Andy's shirt.

“If you get an urge to do so, just..find one of us or something. We'll help you get through this. We all will.” Andy knew it would be hard to keep that promise, but he nodded his head anyway.

“O-okay.” Jake and CC pulled away enough for Andy to look at their faces. Andy swallowed thickly as he looked at them.

“Promise us, Andy.” Andy took a deep shuddering breath and nodded.

“I promise.” He flinched at the audible crack in his voice and squeezed the tears out of his eyes. When he opened his eyes again, Jake and CC both placed a hand on either side of his head and placed a kiss each to his forehead. With a watery smile, Andy blinked his eyes tiredly as exhaustion quickly set in.

“I think we should probably call it a night. We start traveling tomorrow morning.” Andy nodded fully agreeing with Jake.

“I think that's an awesome idea.” Andy gave them a hesitant smile.

~~

“I have a problem.” Andy ran his hand through his hair as he stood before CC in the doorway to CC's hotel room. They'd arrived in the next city so they could finally start playing shows again. CC looked up at Andy with a concerned look. He shook his head at CC, knowing where CC's mind was at that moment.

“It's nothing like that...or okay maybe a little. I need help figuring out what to do about my stage costume.” CC's gaze filled with relief as he moved aside to let Andy into the room.

“Oh okay. We can figure something out, I'm sure of it. Could always wear a leather jacket.” Andy cringed at the idea. He would sweat so bad in one of them.

“You DO remember how hot and sweaty we get up on stage, right?” Andy gave CC an amused look. CC shrugged with a sheepish smile on his face.

“It was just an idea. What about some of those arm things I see goths wearing?” A thoughtful look crossed Andy's face.

“Maybe. That might work. Know of any Hot Topics around in the city?” CC shrugged and shook his head.

“Nope. We could always ask Jake to look it up, though.” Andy nodded slowly as he thought about it. 

“What room is he in again?” Andy scratched the back of his head as he looked at a thoughtful CC.

“Uhh somewhere on the 5th floor I think. Fuck I don't know. Call or text him and ask him.” Andy sighed with exasperation and looked at the ceiling.

“That's just so helpful of you.” CC smirked at Andy who merely gave him the middle finger salute.

“I know, right?”With another sigh, Andy pulled out his phone and dialed Jake's phone. After a few moments Andy growled as it went to voice-mail.

“Hey, man. I just need to know what room you're in. Let me know. Thanks, bye.” Andy ran his hand through his hair and walked over to CC's bed and collapsed on it.

“Voice-mail I take it?” Andy merely nodded as he stared up at the ceiling. CC took a seat on the bed next to Andy's sprawled out form. “He could be working in the gym or whatever. Or doing whatever he does with that camera of his.” Andy snorted and shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe. I don't really want to go chase him down though. What time is it?” Andy scrunched his eyebrows as his mind started to wander.

“Uhh like sometime after 6.” Andy made a non-committal noise as his mind started to drift back to a few days ago when the guys had found out about his secret. Absently Andy brought his arm to his chest and started to finger the cuts through the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. So far he'd made good on his promise not to cut anymore, but it wasn't easy. The urge was still there, like a voice in the back of his head. He was a little afraid that he'd end up breaking his promise to them.

“We should probably get dinner or something.” Andy tilted his head and stared at CC's hunched back. Curious as to what he was doing, Andy flipped over and crawled over to where CC was sitting. When he reached CC, Andy stood up on his knees and draped himself over CC, wrapping his arms around CC's neck loosely only to see him typing away on his phone. “Whatcha doin'?”

“Texting Ash. He wants to party down at some bar. Normally I'd be all for it, but you mentioned food and food sounds awesome. So I'm trying to convince him we need food.” Andy snickered and rested his chin on CC's shoulder. Feeling mischievous, Andy pressed his lips to CC's neck for a moment before he bit and licked the spot. He moved his hands under CC's arms snaked them up CC's shirt. With a smirk at the intake of air from CC, Andy started to suck lick the bite. After a few moments, Andy removed his mouth from CC's neck to study his handiwork and with a smirk moved his hands so that he was pushing up CC's shirt in the back. Once the nape of CC's neck was exposed, Andy pushed CC's hair away and placed a wet kiss to the skin there. A smirk found its way to Andy's face when he heard CC's breathing hitch again.

“You like?” Feeling brave, Andy ran his hands over CC's body as he moved his hands lower and to the front of CC from behind him, resting his hands right above the waistband of CC's jeans.

“Hell yes you little tease.” Andy couldn't help the wide grin that blossomed on his face and started to finger the hem of the jeans, poking his thumbs inside the jeans. A noise from CC's phone, distracted them both. With a pout, Andy moved to peer over CC's shoulder again as he read the message from Ashley.

“Boring? Food's not boring.” Andy raised an eyebrow as CC laughed. Another beep from the phone, and Andy was pouting even more. With a sigh, Andy backed away from CC, grabbed his own phone from the hotel bed and stood up.

“He's going to meet up with us in like 10 minutes.” Andy checked his phone, looking to see if Jake had gotten back to him and met CC's gaze.

“Well let's go track down Jake and Jinxx, I guess.” CC laughed at the pout still evident on Andy's face.

“Why are you pouting? Food was your idea in the first place.” Feeling like a child, Andy stuck his tongue out at CC and moved to the door of CC's room.

“Yeah, Yeah whatever.” Andy smirked evilly as he watched as CC had to adjust himself to hide the evident erection he was now sporting. With a laugh, Andy opened the door and stepped out into the hall with a blushing CC following after a moment.

“You're a tease, you know that?” Andy snickered and watched CC pat down his pockets to make sure he had everything. “Oh crap I need my key and wallet. Hold on.” CC walked back into his room before the door had been closed and grabbed the needed items plus his coat. Once he had the items he grinned and motioned for Andy to start walking. With a click, the door shut behind CC and they started down the hallway side-by-side.

“We should probably check Jinxx's room first. He's in room 303 I think.” As they were on the third floor, Andy watched the numbers on the doors as they walked, making sure to look out for Jinxx's number.

When they reached Jinxx's room they stopped and Andy turned to CC with a grin before leaning forward and placing a quick kiss onto CC's lips. With a smirk, Andy knocked on the door. After a few minutes, Andy frowned and looked at CC who shrugged. Andy pulled his phone out and sent a quick text to Jinxx asking him if he was up for food.

“Dude, where are those two? I guess we go hunt down Jake and see if Jinxx replies?” Andy shrugged and stared at his phone with a frown before looking back up at CC.

“I guess. If we don't find Jake or Jinxx, then I guess it'll just be you, me, and Ashley.” CC shrugged with a look of 'oh well.' “Well, let's stop by my room so I can get my coat.” With a bob of his head, CC put his arm around Andy's shoulders as they headed for the elevators.

“What floor is your room on?” When they got to the elevators, Andy pushed the 'up' button and turned towards CC.

“6th floor.” CC nodded as they waited for the elevator to come to their floor. After a few moments, the elevator dinged and the doors opened only to reveal Ashley about to leave the elevator.

“Oh hey, just the people I'm looking for. Jake and Jinxx comin'?” Ashley stepped back into the elevator as Andy and CC entered the large metal contraption.

“No clue. Jake's not answering his phone, and Jinxx wasn't in his room. Jinxx hasn't replied to my text message either. Right now we're heading up to my room so I can get my coat and then we're gonna go try to find Jake. You wouldn't happen to remember what room he's in, do you?” Ashley nodded. 

“Yeah, 507. You forgot Jake's room number?” Ashley snickered as Andy crossed his arms over his chest in a pout, causing both CC and Ashley to outright laugh at him.

“Yeah, yeah laugh it up fuckers.” After a moment Andy started snickering along with them and lightly shoved them.

When the elevator finally dinged, Andy rushed out of through the doors and took off towards his room, leaving the other two to try to catch up with him. It didn't take him long to find his room and pull the key out of his pocket. Unlocking the door, Andy pushed the door open and grabbed his coat from where it laid on his bed. He looked around the room and patted his pockets, realizing he didn't have his wallet. Andy frowned and searched his coat's pockets to see if it was there.

“Fuck, where is it?” Andy set his coat on his bed with a concerned look and opened up his luggage that was also on the bed. He heard CC and Ashley come further into the room as he tore his luggage apart.

“What are you looking for?” Andy stood up straight and ran his hand through his hair with frustration.

“My wallet. I can't find it. Hey CC, do you remember if I left it in your room?” CC frowned as he thought and shook his head.

“I don't think so, but we can check if we can't find it here.” Andy nodded as he tried desperately not to panic. He watched as Ashley and CC both started searching the rest of the hotel room, before going back to his luggage.

“Found it!” Andy looked up to see Ashley pulling his wallet out of the garbage can in the room. He frowned at the location. There was no way he'd thrown it away. The hairs on the back of his neck started to stand on end as he approached Ashley and took his wallet from Ashley. Feeling as if something wasn't right, Andy started to look through his wallet to make sure everything was still there. “Hey what's this?” After making sure everything was there, Andy looked up to see Ashley holding a picture with a heavy frown on his face. It was a picture of Andy taken from a distance when he had been first entering the hotel with his luggage. He paled as a cold chill ran up his spine.

“The hell?” Andy took the picture with shaking hands. He felt CC come up behind him and showed the picture to him. CC frowned and gave Andy and Ashley a worried look.

“Where was this?” Andy looked to Ashley who pointed at the garbage can.

“The Garbage can with Andy's wallet.” Feeling like he was going to collapse, Andy backed away from them and sat on the bed as he put his face in his hands and dragged his hands down his face.

“Fuck.” Panic setting in, Andy grabbed his phone and punched Jake's number. When it went to voice-mail again Andy cursed out loud. “FUCK! I still can't get a hold of Jake.” Andy started punching in Jinxx's number and visibly sagged in relief when he answered. “Hey Jinxx. Have you heard from Jake? I just want to make sure he's alright.” Andy paused and mentally cursed as Jinxx denied having heard from Jake. “Fuck okay. Well we were going to get some food, wanna join? Alright, meet us up in my room.” Andy released the call and tossed his phone onto his bed. “Jinxx hasn't heard from Jake either. I'm worried. Especially now that I have a stalker. What if something happened to Jake? I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me.” Despite trying his hardest not to, tears gathered in his eyes as CC came forward and sat next to him on the bed.

“I'm sure Jake's fine. We'll go check the gym and stuff. If he's not there, we'll go check his room.” Andy nodded and leaned into CC's shoulder, trying to calm himself down. After a moment of silence there was a knock on the door. Andy looked up to see Ashley go over and open the door. 

“Hey! Andy we found Jake!” Andy shot to his feet and rushed over to the door. As soon as Jinxx and Jake were in his sights, he launched himself at Jake and hugged him tightly. Jinxx and Jake's eyes went wide as Jake was nearly knocked over by the tall 23 year old. Jake managed to pry off Andy as they both came into Andy's room and walked over to the others.

“Okay, what did we miss?” Jinxx looked to CC and Ashley with a look of confusion. Wordlessly, Ashley went and picked up the picture, handing it to Jinxx.

“We think Andy might have a stalker.” Jinxx looked at the picture with concern and gave them a look before handing it to Jake who took it with a frown.

“Yeah and Ashley found my wallet in the garbage with that picture. Why didn't you answer your phone?” Andy wrapped his arms around his chest as he looked at Jake. Jake frowned and patted his pockets. 

“Oh crap, I must have forgotten my phone. Sorry about that. I went to the gym and did a short little work out. Jinxx ran into me on my way up to my room and here we are.” Andy nodded slowly and ran his hand through his hair for the umpteenth time. 

“Well we were actually going to get something to eat before this all happened. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving and I was promised food.” CC grinned as the others laughed at him.

“Alright, I'm down. I'd like to go change and get my phone though before we leave though.” Jake rubbed Andy's back absently as the others agreed. “Okay, I'll be back in like 5 minutes guys.” Andy watched Jake hurry out of the room so he could go change and made the split decision to follow him.

“Hold up, I'll go with you, Jake.” Andy grabbed his coat and made sure he had everything before looking at the others, who followed him to the door. “We'll meet you guys in the lobby.” With everything agreed upon, Andy caught up with an amused Jake who was standing at the elevator doors.


	10. Burn It To The Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys go to a bar and meet a few familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a little later than usual guys! I ended up coming up with another BVB story idea that I started writing (I'm sure I'll eventually post it). Luckily I had most of this chapter written before that happened, but still. Finally finished it today. I want to thank all of my readers! I finally reached 300 hits on this story and I'm so happy about that :D I'd also like to thank everyone that's commented on it and left a Kudos! You guys keep me going on this story :D For the first time in a long time I feel like I may actually finish a multi-chaptered story. 
> 
> This is the longest chapter by far, but I'm okay with that.
> 
> There is smut in this chapter just forewarning.

“Well it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight  
I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me  
Oh  
That shit makes me bat shit crazy  
We've got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out  
We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight  
We're going till the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground tonight”  
“Burn It To The Ground” - Nickelback

Andy had been a paranoid wreck the entire night at the restaurant they'd gone to. Every few seconds he'd look around the dining area and scope everyone in the room, everyone that came in, and everyone that left. The guys had noticed and tried to keep him distracted, but it only went so far. Eventually he'd end up looking around him again and work himself up all over again. He was grateful for CC and Jake sitting on either side of him protectively the entire time. It had been a slightly tense affair, but they'd still managed to enjoy their meal despite the slight tension and paranoia.

It was around 8:30 when they'd made it back to the hotel. Ashley had convinced them all to go to a bar somewhere nearby, however Jake had wanted to shower first. Andy had gone with CC to his room to hang out, while Ashley and Jinxx had headed over to the bar to save a spot. Supposedly. Andy was certain Ashley just wanted to get a head start on picking up ladies, but whatever. 

Andy, who was sprawled out over CC's bed staring at the ceiling once again, frowned as he realized he had to go to the bathroom. With a groan, Andy got off of the bed causing CC to give him a questioning look. He motioned toward the bathroom and started off to the small room. 

Once he was in the bathroom, he closed the door behind him and locked it. After a moment, standing by the door, Andy moved to the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. Frowning at his appearance, Andy stepped away from the mirror and moved to go do his business. When he was done, he washed his hands and then stared down at his arm. Andy could feel the urge to cut himself growing stronger. He frowned as he looked back at the door and listened for CC in the other room. Hearing the TV in the background, Andy turned back to the his arm and slid up his sleeve further to show the healing cuts on his arm. Slipping his right hand into his pocket, Andy pulled out his pocket knife. Despite the promise he'd made, Andy had made a habit to carry around his pocket knife everywhere he went. 

“Fuck..” Andy whispered as he set the pocket knife down on the sink counter and stared at it. Could he break his promise to Jake and CC? Absently Andy scratched at the scabs of healing cuts, causing a few of them to break open and bleed again. The sight of blood distracted Andy as he became mesmerized by the red rivulets. After a moment he made his up his mind and turned on the water and rinsed off the blood. He dried off his arm and pulled down his sleeve to cover the cuts and pocketed his knife again. With one last look at himself in the mirror, Andy turned around and unlocked and opened the door.

“Hey. Any word from Jake?” CC looked up from the movie he was watching and pulled out his phone.

“Nope, not yet. Shouldn't be too much longer though.” Andy nodded and crawled onto the bed behind CC and sat down with his foot tucked underneath the other leg. With a sigh Andy fell backwards onto the mattress and pushed his hair out of his face.

“I hate waiting.” CC snickered.

“We all know this.” Andy pouted at CC's back and grabbed one of the pillows. With a smirk, Andy launched the pillow at the back of CC's head. CC turned to look at Andy with a surprised but amused look.

“Dude what are you 12?” CC snickered and tossed the pillow back hitting Andy in the face with it. Andy grinned and pushed the offending pillow out of his way instead of throwing it back.

“Hey, you threw it back so that makes you just as 12 as me.” CC scoffed with a laugh and shook his head.

“I don't think so. I was throwing it in retaliation.” Andy propped himself up on his elbows and raised an eyebrow at CC with a smirk. 

“You know there are other ways you could have retaliated besides throwing it back.” Andy's voice was low with lust as his blue eyes darkened with growing lust. He watched as CC swallowed thickly and eyed his half-way sprawled out form.

The momentary silence was broken by Andy's phone going off. Wriggling on the bed, Andy managed to pull out his phone and answer it.

“Hello? Oh okay, cool. Me and CC will be down in the lobby waiting. Yeah Ash and Jinxx went ahead to the bar already. Alright cool. Bye. Jake's gonna meet us down in the lobby.” Andy got off of the bed and made sure he had everything he needed before looking at CC. CC nodded and went about making sure he had everything as well. “We good?”

“Yeah. Got my key, wallet, phone. We're good. Let's go!” Andy turned and started walking to the door of the hotel room, but yelped when CC smacked his ass. He turned to look at CC who was grinning devilishly. Shaking his head with a smile, Andy and CC both left the room and headed down to the lobby.

When they got to the lobby, they waved at Jake. Andy noticed his wet hair was pulled back into a lazy bun and he was wearing a tight fitting tank top underneath his unzipped coat. He swallowed thickly as he tried to force the want down. They could play later.

“Hey. Let's go. I'm sure Ashley's already gotten a head start.” Andy and Jake snorted at CC's words as they headed out of the hotel.

~~

It was currently somewhere around 10 at night and Andy found himself bored. Ashley was partying with a group of girls somewhere by the bar while CC, Jake, and Jinxx were all playing pool with a guy that looked suspiciously like the male nurse he flirted with when he was getting his stitches pulled out. Looking over to where Ashley was, his eyes narrowed again as he saw a familiar red head of hair. So the unpleasant nurse was here too.

Finally unable to take the boredom, Andy took his drink and stalked over to CC and Jake with a determined look on his face. He was going to be sociable tonight, or at least going to go over there and listen to the bullshit. When he got closer to the pool table he saw the nurse, Wednesday catch his eye and raise an eyebrow. Andy gave him a small smile as he walked around and leaned into Jake.

“Oh hey. What's up?” Jake held his pool stick with the fat end on the ground as he turned to look at Andy with a smile. Andy grinned and shook his head.

“I was bored so I came over to feel less bored.” Jake snorted as they both watched CC try to get a ball into a pocket. Andy looked around him and went to sit on a bench against the wall nearby. From the corner of his eye, he saw Wednesday approach him. With a start, Andy realized that Wednesday did NOT look like a nurse or anyone who would willingly be a nurse when he wasn't in his scrubs. He had a lip ring, a nose ring, an eyebrow piercing, and more tattoos than Andy had. He was wearing a Ramones tank top and black skinny jeans and Andy realized he was actually good looking.

Frowning Andy looked away and focused on Jake's ass instead as he heard Wednesday sit down next to him. “Kinda surprised to see you here.” Andy looked at Wednesday and raised an eyebrow.

“That makes two of us. We're like hours away from the city you work in and we happen to meet in a random bar?” Andy eyed Wednesday suspiciously. “You're not stalking me are you?” Wednesday blinked.

“No I'm here with my boyfriend and sister. Chris wanted to go to some concert tomorrow.” Andy tried to hide his smirk.

“Oh do tell. What band you going to see?” Andy watched as Wednesday furrowed his brows.

“Some guys called Black Veil Brides? Never heard of them but Chris loves them.” Andy busted out laughing, unable to keep a straight face anymore. Next to him Wednesday frowned at him. “What's so funny?” Andy shook his head and waved him off.

“Nothing, no reason. Don't mind me. I think it's your turn.” Andy grinned as Wednesday gave him a weird look and went to go play his turn. Jake turned to Andy and took Wednesday's place.

“What was that about?” Andy grinned and motioned towards Wednesday, while keeping his voice down.

“He's going to our concert tomorrow and has no clue who we are.” Jake burst out laughing next to Andy, causing Andy to start laughing again. “You know what's even crazier? I met him when I was getting my stitches taken out.” Jake shook his head, still snickering.

“Wow, that's actually kind of awesome. Wait, how'd you meet him?” 

“He was the nurse at the doctor's office when I went to go get my stitches taken out.” Andy snorted as Jake looked at Wednesday with a frown of confusion.

“A nurse? Holy fuck he does not look like the nurse type.” Andy shook his head and watched as Jinxx walked around and took his shot.

“You're telling me. Oh and you remember that one nurse when I was in the hospital? The red-head with the bad attitude?” Jake frowned and nodded slowly.

“Yeah. Why?” Andy motioned over to where Ashley was.

“She's here too.” Jake grimaced and looked over to Ashley and spotted the red-head talking to him. Andy snorted as he saw Jake rolling his eyes at the older male. Ashley had at least 4 girls hanging out around him. Looking back over at Ashley, Andy's eyes narrowed as he saw Ashley wrap an arm around the unpleasant nurse lady and steer them over their way. “Of course Ashley chose Bad-Attitude-Red and is bringing her here to show off.” Feeling irritated, Andy leaned into Jake's shoulder and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Oh lovely. Just what we need.” Andy snorted at Jake's comment and eyed Ashley and whatever-her-name-was get closer. Still frowning, Andy took another drink of the drink he'd almost forgotten he'd had in his hands.

“Oh you didn't tell me Ballsack was here. Oh goody.” Andy glared at the red-head when she smirked at him and flipped her the finger. Ashley looked between his current date and Andy with a confused look on his face. Before Ashley could open his mouth, Andy saw Wednesday frown at the red-head.

“You know 'Lita you could pretend to be nice for once.” Andy watched with interest at the interaction between the two. He saw the girl 'Lita' roll her eyes and flip him the finger.

“Fuck that. Nice is for Pussies and idiot brothers. Ashley, I'd like you to meet my moron of a brother Wednesday.” Wednesday rolled his eyes and flipped her the finger back. Andy looked between the girl and Wednesday with confusion. There was no way those two were related, was there? Looking closer Andy did notice similar facial features. Huh.

“Fuck you, 'Lita. Where's Chris?” Lolita shrugged and leaned in closer to Ashley with a smirk.

“The fuck should I know? I'm not his fucking keeper.” Wednesday glared at her and set the pool stick on the edge of the pool table.

“Because you were with him last and I haven't seen him in over 20 minutes. You didn't kill my boyfriend did you?” Andy watched them with interest. He had to admit them arguing was kind of entertaining. Looking at the guys, he noticed they must have had similar thoughts as they were all watching their interactions as well.

“Fuck off. The fuck would I kill him? He doesn't piss me off like you do.” Before either of the siblings could argue any more, Ashley stepped forward a little.

“Sorry for interrupting this fascinating family feud, but I'd like to know how Andy already knows my date.” Andy glared at Lolita who glared right back.

“She's Dr. LeStrange's nurse. Your attitude sucks by the way.” Andy knew he was probably picking a fight, but at this point he didn't care. She irked him and he couldn't help himself.

“Fuck you, my attitude's just fine. At least I didn't try to slice my fucking wrist open with a fucking mirror shard.” Andy glared at her and tried to fight off Jake's arms holding him back. He wanted to rip her a new one.

“Fuck you!” Andy saw CC approach where Jake was holding him back from the corner of his eye but his gaze remained on the Red-head in front of him.

“Jesus, 'Lita. Seriously chill the fuck out! Smoke some weed or something! Fucking Hell!” Wednesday ran his hands through his long black hair and glared at his sister. “I can't believe you're starting shit again. Fuck where is Chris when you need him?” Andy eyed glared at the red-head even as he felt Jake and CC pull him away from the pool table.

“Hey c'mon, man. Let's go outside and you can take a smoke break or something.” Andy relented and stalked towards the doors of the bar and pulled out his cigarettes. Patting his pockets, he cursed when he realized he didn't have his lighter. From the pool table area, Andy faintly heard Lolita curse her brother again and said something about not starting the fight.

“Fuck I don't have my lighter. Either of you have one?” Andy opened the doors and cursed again at the onslaught of cold air. “Fuck it's cold.” Turning to look at CC and Jake he frowned at the shakes of their heads.

“Nope sorry, man.” Andy frowned. Once they were outside, Andy looked around and saw a guy that was only a few inches shorter than him smoking against the wall of the bar. He approached the guy as he pulled out a cigarette from its container.

“Hey man, do you have a lighter I can borrow?” The guy turned towards him. Andy watched as recognition lit up in his eyes and nodded. The guy pulled out a lighter and tossed it to Andy, who barely managed to catch it. “Thanks. You're a life saver.”

“No problem. I'm a big fan. I'm actually going to be going to the concert tomorrow. I'm Chris.” Andy nodded as he lit the white stick and took a few puffs of it before handing the lighter back.

“Right on. I'm Andy. That's CC and Jake,” Andy said motioning towards CC and Jake respectively. Jake and CC stood nearby, but a ways away from the cigarette smoke. “You wouldn't happen to be Wednesday's boyfriend Chris would you?” Andy watched as Chris' eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, why? What did he do this time?” Andy raised an eyebrow at Chris.

“Ah nothing. He was asking about you.” The guy nodded, a look of relief crossing his face. Andy studied the other guy. There had to be a story behind that reaction. “Also his sister could use an attitude check. How do you deal with her?” Chris laughed as he took a drag of his cigarette.

“For one thing, I usually stay on her good side. You get used to it after a while. She cares about people deep down. In her own messed up way. She's got her mother's temper.” Andy nodded and frowned.

He wasn't sure what made him do it, but Andy's gaze was brought to a spot across the street. Freezing and his eyes widening, he stared at the tall figure standing at the edge of an alley staring at him. Panic flooded through him as he dropped his cigarette and stumbled backwards a few steps until he hit the wall. Andy could hear voices trying to talk to him and hands on him, but all he could focus on was the figure across the street.

“No...” Andy's voice was a whisper at best as he slid down the brick wall and sat down on the sidewalk. His breaths came in fast and short as he started to hyperventilate. He could hear someone's voice telling someone something and one of the sets of hands left him, but he couldn't pinpoint who. Flashes of the attack were going through the forefront of his mind.

Lost in the flashbacks, and now in full panic mode, Andy's brain caught up with the hands on him and stood up, trying to pull away. He yanked on the grip of hands and tried to get away, but they wouldn't let go. He didn't want it to happen again!

“No! Let go! Stop!” Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes as hopelessness started to fill his mind. He tried to pull away again, feeling relief when he felt the grip on his arms loosen. Andy immediately took off away from them and looked wildly around for a place to hide. It wasn't but a few seconds later that Andy felt arms lock around him and people trying to talk to him. The panic started to slowly recede as unlike when he was attacked, these arms made him feel safe and secure. After a few more seconds, Andy could hear what was being spoken.

“Hey, hey. Easy. Just take deep breaths.” Andy complied and started to take deep breaths and releasing them with the person holding him. When Andy was in a more stable frame of mind, the person holding him turned him around for Andy to see a worried CC staring back at him. “You with us again?” Andy's heart was still racing, but he managed to nod. He didn't trust his voice. Behind CC was the rest of the guys plus Chris, Wednesday, and Lolita. Jake came up next to them with a similar worried face as CC. Andy leaned into Jake's hand when he reached up and put his hand to Andy's cheek. It was a few silent moments before Andy spoke.

“I saw...I saw Him across the street and I...I panicked.” Andy took another deep breath as CC and Jake both turned and looked around. He followed their gazes and looked to where he'd seen the guy, but he was no where to be seen. “I think he's gone..” Jake and CC enveloped him in a hug which he returned gratefully. When Andy was released from the hug, Andy looked at everyone that was watching with concern and gave them what he hoped was a smile and not a grimace. With a deep breath Andy moved so that he was facing everyone. “Sorry for worrying everyone. I have some...unresolved issues.” Jinxx walked up to Andy and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You sure you're alright?” Andy gave Jinxx a small smile and nodded. He was okay, for now.

“Yeah, I'm okay.” Jinxx smiled.

“Whatever. It's fucking cold. I'm going back inside.” Lolita flipped her long hair over her shoulder and walked back inside. With a shrug and an apologetic look, Ashley followed her inside. After a moment, Jinxx followed them inside so that it was just Chris, Wednesday, Andy, Jake, and CC.

“Sorry for my sister. She's a bitch, Ow!” Wednesday winced and rubbed his arm from where Chris smacked him.

“Don't call your sister names!” Chris frowned at Wednesday who rolled his eyes. Andy snickered at the two of them and shook his head.

“Oh come on! I wasn't calling her anything she hasn't called herself before. Seriously, I've heard you say it before!” Andy laughed as Chris looked away and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No idea what you're talking about.” Wednesday gave Chris a bemused look.

“Oh yeah sure. Okay. Anyways, so if you don't mind me asking, what happened to cause the panic attack?” Andy wrapped his arms around his middle protectively. He felt Jake and CC put comforting hands on his back, making him feel more secure.

“Like about 2 weeks ago I was uhh... attacked and they never caught the guy. I've been seeing him like everywhere. Earlier today Ashley actually found a picture someone took of me in the garbage of my hotel room.” Andy looked down at the sidewalk trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Fuck, man. That sucks.” Andy nodded and coughed nervously. “Well I don't know about you guys, but I'm cold and I feel like getting my ass kicked at pool again.” Andy looked up from the sidewalk and held his arm out to hold him from going inside.

“Err wait. Since you're going to the concert, why don't you just come backstage with us?” Andy saw the confusion in Wednesday and started laughing.

“Backstage? I'm confused.” Andy snickered as Chris rolled his eyes.

“Wednesday, we're talking to three of the members of the band we're going to see tomorrow.” Realization dawned on Wednesday's face, causing Andy, Jake, and CC to laugh.

“Oh! Well that explains why you were laughing at me earlier. That'd be fucking sweet.” Andy grinned and shrugged.

“I just need your guys' last names and I leave your names with the people with the list. Are either of you gonna be able to remember this?” Jake laughed lightly at Andy.

“Yeah I'll remember their names.” Andy nodded and turned back to Wednesday and Chris.

“Wednesday Hart, Chris Halliwell, and Lolita Hart if you still want to include her.” Andy made a face. He wanted to say no, but he would anyways.

“I don't want to, but we will.” Wednesday snickered. “Alright so I'm cold too. I second the idea of going inside.”

~~

It was a few minutes after Midnight and they were still at the bar, not that Andy was complaining. He was pretty drunk and had nearly forgotten the earlier panic attack. His current goal was to seduce Jake and CC, however he was having issues staying upright and walking over to them let alone be able to do all sorts of naughty things to them. Andy was determined to accomplish his goal despite his inebriation. Looking around the bar from the door to the men's restroom, he spotted Jake and CC sitting at a table with Chris and Wednesday.

Using the tables and chairs surrounding him as support, Andy slowly made his way towards Jake and CC. From the way they were sitting, CC and Jake wouldn't see him coming and Andy couldn't decide if he was pleased or disappointed by that. Shrugging Andy's face became determined as he stumbled his way through the tables and chairs slowly. Before he could get to CC and Jake, Andy watched as Jake said something to everyone at the table and got up. He stopped when he spotted a surprised Andy watching him. With a pleased grin, Andy started walking towards Jake and fell into his arms when Jake met him halfway.

“Wow, you're really drunk, aren't you? What's the look for.” Andy put his hands on Jake's chest as he stared at the tattoos peeking out from under Jake's loose-fitting black tank top and licked his lips. With an unsteady gaze, Andy squinted at Jake's face before replying.

“I've decided that I need to seduce you and CC.” Jake laughed softly as he placed steadying hands on Andy's shoulders.

“You have, have you? And how do you plan on doing that?” Andy stopped and gave Jake a confused look. He hadn't planned that far.

“I don't know, but...but I'll think of something. And it will be great. And hot. Definitely hot. I want to kiss you now.” Andy leaned down and placed his lips upon Jake's in a sloppy kiss that nearly missed its mark. He moaned when he felt Jake responding to the kiss and immediately let Jake's tongue in to plunder his mouth. Jake moaned into his mouth and brought his arms lower to grip Andy's hips, earning a gasp from Andy when Jake pulled Andy's hips to his own. The kiss grew more frantic with desire from them both. Hands started making their way up Jake's shirt to feel along his toned abs and further up to his nipples. After a moment, Jake pulled away from the kiss, but not away from Andy.

“You seem to be doing a hell of a job. I think..I think CC needs to have some fun too.” Andy nodded, trying to get his breathing under control. His gaze lowered back down to Jake's mouth and he licked his kiss-swollen lips. He was already half-way hard, and if he wasn't mistaken, Andy felt a hardness between Jake's legs that indicated he was in the same boat.

“Good plan.” Andy darted forward and placed his lips to Jake's again in a quick but passionate kiss. Jake, whose face was flushed, put his arm around Andy after a second and helped him stumble over to where CC was chatting with Chris and Wednesday. Once they got to the table, Jake helped Andy to sit down in the chair Jake was sitting in before and smiled at everyone at the table.

“I'll be right back again.” Andy pouted as he twisted in his seat to see Jake heading towards the bathrooms. With a sigh he turned his gaze to CC and lowered his unfocused gaze to CC's lips.

“Glad to see you didn't fall in Andy.” Andy's gaze moved back up to CC's eyes as he gave CC a pout. Without replying, Andy buried his face into CC's neck and wrapped his arms around CC's torso with a sigh of contentment. “You feeling alright Andy?” Andy nodded against CC's neck.

“Better than alright.” Ignoring the looks that Chris and Wednesday were giving him, Andy shifted a little and placed a wet kiss to the flesh of CC's neck. He grinned against CC's throat when he heard the sharp intake of air. Feeling more confident in his actions, Andy got out of his chair and straddled CC's lap. With a grin, Andy rocked his hips against CC's and moved his long hair out of the way. Now that more flesh was exposed on CC's neck, Andy leaned in and bit down on the junction between CC's neck and collar bone. Andy licked the bite and sucked on the red spot for a moment, before licking it again. CC's breathing started quickening and Andy decided to rock his hips into CC's again. Leaning back, Andy examined his handiwork and smirked proudly at the bright red bruise on CC's neck. Pushing up CC's shirt, Andy leaned in and hunched over as best as he could so he could lick his way from CC's stomach to his chest.

“Fuck, Andy.” Andy smirked and pulled away from CC's chest and grinned at the lust and desire swimming through CC's gaze.

“That's the goal.” CC's gaze darkened even further as Andy started to grind his hips into CC's now evident erection repeatedly. 

“Hey this is mine and Wednesday's number in case you want to get a hold of us to hang out next time you're in our city. We're going to go ahead and leave you two alone. Have fun kids.” Andy waved in their general area and absently grabbed the paper and stuffed it in his pocket while he continued to grind into CC's hips. The friction that the rocking was creating was good, but Andy was growing frustrated because it wasn't enough. 

“Fuck, where's Jake. I need you both.” A moan left CC's lips as he started to buck his hips in rhythm with Andy's rocking. 

“I see you got started without me, Andy.” Andy looked up at Jake, who was standing behind CC with lidded eyes and a flushed face as he gestured towards the doors.

“We should go elsewhere...” Below Andy, CC groaned and put his hands on the front of Andy's hips. With his thumb, CC started to patterns into Andy's hard length through his jeans. Andy groaned and threw his head back. He felt Jake walk up next to them. After a moment, Andy managed to pry his eyes open and stared at Jake's face with desire. Jake leaned in and captured Andy's lips in a chaste kiss. They pulled away from the kiss when air became an issue.

“I'm going to let Ash and Jinxx know we're heading out.” Andy nodded absently and started rocking his hips into CC's hips and groaned as CC kept rubbing his erection through the jeans. After a moment, Andy brought his gaze over to where Jake was and made eye contact with him and licked his lips. He saw Ashley and Jinxx look their way and smirked at them as he kept his rhythm up. It wasn't long before Jake was back to them and reluctantly Andy stopped his movements and got up off of CC's lap.

Once they'd gotten to Jake's hotel room, Andy and Jake nearly tore off CC's shirt before taking off their own shirts. Jake leaned in and placed his lips to CC's and started to make-out with him. Andy, however, started unbuttoning CC's jeans and zipper with fervor. CC's body shuddered as Andy's hands ghosted over his hard length through the material. After he'd gotten them undone, Andy moved up CC's body a bit and placed a kiss to the flesh below CC's belly button.

“Mmm, fuck.” CC's voice was husky and full of desire. Andy smirked up at CC and started to pull down CC's jeans. Once the jeans were down on the floor, CC stepped out of them and Andy grabbed them, tossing them somewhere behind him. The sight of CC's large erection straining against the fabric of his boxer briefs caused Andy's own erection to twitch. With soft touches, Andy gently pulled off CC's briefs and off of him with CC's help. Andy looked up to see CC and Jake looking down at him. “Fuck, you look so good on your knees, Andy.”

“Fuck, CC's right. You look so hot like that, Andy.” Andy grinned up at the both of them and grabbed the base of CC's erection, pumping him slowly. With his other hand, he helped Jake undo his own jeans and slide them and his underwear to the floor. After Jake had stepped out of his own jeans and underwear, Jake moved closer to Andy. Keeping his gaze focused on Jake and CC's faces, Andy grabbed Jake's huge erection with his free hand and started stroking him, while doing the same for CC's erection.

“How about when I do this?” Andy grinned up at them both and placed his lips on the head of CC's erection, sucking lightly. CC's eyes close and his hand gripped Andy's hair. Feeling bold, Andy took a little more of CC into his mouth, his tongue licking along the underside of CC's length.

“Fuck.” Andy hummed at CC as he started to pull away from CC. Before he could pull all the way off, Andy slid his mouth further down CC's length again working up a rhythm. As he bobbed his head up and down CC's length, meeting his fist with his mouth, he started pumping Jake again in time with the bobbing of his head. With a 'pop' Andy let CC's erection slide out of his mouth and released them both. Andy felt CC's grip on his hair loosen as he stood up. He met Jake's mouth with his own and started backing towards the bed in the room. Jake pulled away from Andy as CC and him helped guide Andy to the bed. Once Andy was standing next to the bed, Jake started to undo Andy's jeans.

“You need to lose these.” Andy nodded and nearly moaned as Jake's brushed against his straining erection. He felt the bed dip behind him and groaned as CC started proceeded to bite and suck on one of his tattoos on his neck. Once Jake had Andy's pants undone and on the ground, Andy stepped out of them and moaned loudly when Jake grabbed his freed erection and licked up from the base to the head of his dick. Andy's breathing started to quicken at the sensations.

“Fuck I need you guys inside me.” Andy threw his head back as Jake took him into his mouth. From behind him, Andy felt the tip of CC's erection rub against him lightly. CC's breath tickled Andy's neck and his hands reached around to pinch and roll Andy's nipples.

“Which of us do you need?” His eyes closed at the sensations and groaned before prying his eyes open again.

“Don't matter. Just need someone inside me. I'll suck off the other.” Andy whimpered as Jake released his erection from his mouth and looked around him. Jake stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed and bend down to grab something. Licking his lips, Andy crawled onto the bed and stood up on his knees as he and CC watched Jake. Jake stood back up with a bottle in his hands and motioned for Andy to turn around.

“On your hands and knees and face CC.” Andy nodded and did as he was told. He felt Jake get behind him and flip the cap open to the bottle of lube. When he felt the first finger slide in slow, Andy's eyes squeezed shut. In the back of his mind he could feel the panic from the night of the attack return, but Andy squashed it down as best as he could and forced himself to look up at CC. CC ran a hand through Andy's hair in a comforting gesture, his other hand gripping his erection. Jake started to move his finger in and out of Andy's entrance slowly, allowing Andy to get used to the feeling. Soon a second finger was added, this time the pain causing Andy to wince. 

Andy nodded and brought his knuckle up to his mouth and bit down as Jake started to scissor his opening to prepare him. It was slow going, but soon a third finger was added. Once Jake pulled his fingers out, Andy craned his neck and pulled CC's face down to his as their lips met in a kiss. He heard the cap of the lube bottle open and close again as he continued to make-out with CC. After a few quick seconds, Andy felt the head of Jake's erection press against his entrance and gasped in the kiss. Jake slowly pushed in and Andy tensed up.

“Hurts.” Andy's eyes squeezed shut as he tried to adjust to the feeling of Jake inside him. He felt Jake stop pushing in suddenly.

“Fuck, sorry Andy. It'll feel better soon, I promise. You're so fucking tight. Holy fuck.” Once the pain subsided a bit, Andy motioned for Jake to keep going. He felt CC's hands run through his hair as Jake slowly pushed in all the way. Jake stopped moving once he had pushed in all the way to let Andy adjust to him. After a few moments Andy pushed back into Jake.

“Fucking move.” Andy felt Jake pull out almost all the way and thrust back in, finding a steady rhythm. He heard Jake moan behind him, and feeling a bit more satisfied, Andy darted his tongue out and licked the head of CC's throbbing erection. Bracing himself with one hand, Andy reached out and grabbed the base of CC's erection and once again started to suck and lick the weeping member. Suddenly Andy released CC and arched his back closing his eyes tightly at the sudden onslaught of pleasure.

“Fuck, whatever you did Jake, do it again!” Jake grunted and started aiming for the same spot as before. Andy cried out again as Jake managed to find the spot. “Fuck! Fuck that feels so fucking good.” The pleasure he felt was nearly overwhelming as Jake kept ramming his erection into the bundle of nerves there.

With a moan, Andy slapped CC's hand away from his erection and took as much of CC into his mouth as he could without choking. He started bobbing his head up and down the already leaking cock and moaned. CC moaned above him and thrust his hands into Andy's hair. Andy used one of his hands to try to prevent CC from thrusting into his mouth as he tried to keep his bobbing and sucking at the same pace as Jake. The hands in his hair started to tighten slowly and Andy had to pull away from CC's erection. As he tried to catch up on his breathing, Andy licked at the length and sucking lightly at the very tip.

“Fuck, that mouth of yours feels so amazing on my cock, Andy. Not gonna last much longer.” With a grin on his face, Andy grabbed the base of CC's cock and took him into his mouth again. Behind him Jake started thrusting into him even harder and faster.

“Fuck, so You feel so good.” Andy moaned with CC still in his mouth as Jake reached around and started to pump Andy in time to his thrusts. CC's grip on his hair tighten as he tensed in front of Andy.

“Fuck Andy I'm gonna...” Andy continued to bob his head as CC gave him the warning. With determination, Andy proceeded to swallow every last drop of CC's seed. “Jesus Fucking Christ Andy.” Once he felt CC's erection start to fade, Andy finally released CC's cock from his mouth. CC sat back and watched as Jake desperately tried to reach his own climax.

Andy moaned as he felt his own climax building. He was so close to the edge. Reaching underneath himself, Andy grabbed his own erection from Jake's grip and started to pump himself. “Fuck, I'm so close, Jake.” A few more pumps and a few more thrusts into his prostate and Andy felt himself go over the edge. “Fuck, Jake!” Andy closed his eyes and felt his arms give out once he was spent. He managed to tilt his face so that his nose wasn't shoved into the blankets. Behind him Jake's thrusts became more frantic and harder.

“Fuck almost there..” Andy felt Jake thrust in a few more times before he too found his release. “Fuck, Andy.” Once Jake was finished, he pulled out of Andy and sat back. With a groan, Andy turned over onto his back and stared up at CC when he felt Jake get off of the bed. It wasn't but a moment later, Jake came back and proceeded clean himself off as well as Andy and CC.

“We definitely should do that again, but not tonight.” CC laughed at the dazed look on Andy's face.

“Yeah no, not tonight for sure. I'm completely spent.”

“Same here.” When Jake was done he turned off the lights to the hotel room and they climbed underneath the blankets.


	11. Lying From  You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy's world is crumbling around him and now The Black Veil Brides' future is in jeopardy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER! YAY!
> 
> I do want to start off by sincerely apologizing for the great delay. First my hard drive failed on me, then when I got it back, I had issues with this chapter THEN my family went through a medical emergency that left my parents staying in a hospital for like 7 weeks. I finally got this chapter finished though. I had to redo many parts of the chapter several times unfortunately and I almost scrapped the whole chapter. I finally settled on having a shorter chapter than the previous ones so that I could get it going again. In the end I'm quite proud of how it turned out :) I really hope you guys like it :D

Lying From You

“It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone”  
“Lying From You” - Linkin Park

 

When Andy woke up with the need to use the bathroom, he realized that it was going to be difficult to get out of bed, for he was sandwiched between Jake and CC's still sleeping forms. Taking a moment to blink the sleep out of his eyes, Andy shifted his head so that he was looking into Jake's peacefully sleeping face. A smile lit up his face as he brought his hand to softly caress Jake's face. Jake stirred but didn't wake. Letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, Andy turned his head to look at CC. CC's mouth was wide open, soft snores coming from him every few seconds. 

With a deep breath Andy attempted once again to extract himself from their grips. He stifled a groan as he tried to slowly and carefully move Jake's arm off of him first. Andy nearly screamed as he felt Jake wrap his arm around him again, but even tighter than before. Obviously his plan to extract himself from his lovers was going exactly as planned. Not.

Andy released a frustrated breath of air and stared at the ceiling. He had to figure out how to get CC and Jake's arms off of him without waking them up. Turning his head slightly, Andy looked at CC's peaceful face and tried to lift his arm off of him. Unfortunately when he almost had his arm off of him, CC too reached over and snuggled him even tighter. 'Fuck me,' Andy thought to himself. At this rate he was never going to be able to go use the bathroom.

Coming up with an idea, Andy carefully took both CC's and Jake's arms and lifted them up. Carefully and slowly, he scooted out from under their arms and laid their arms over each other. Once he was out from in between them he smiled triumphantly when they scooted closer together and tightened their grip around each other. After a moment of watching his lovers with a small smile on his face, Andy headed for the adjoining bathroom not even bothering to clothe himself. With a wince he realized his backside was a little more sore than he'd originally thought. That was going to take some getting used to. 

Opening the door to the bathroom, Andy stopped and stared at the mirror staring back at him. Taped dead center of the mirror was a photo of Jake, Andy, and CC sleeping in the bed. Stumbling back rapidly, Andy's back hit the wall with a loud thud as panic flooded Andy's veins. His hand came up and covered his mouth as his eyes widened. Andy slid down the wall and sank to the floor.

“No....Nononononononono. NO!” Andy brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his hands around the back of his head as he kept staring at the picture. How the hell had the guy managed to get in here? In the back of his mind, he heard the confused and groggy voices of CC and Jake, but couldn't focus on them. Everything around him except for the photo seemed to fade around him. Why was he following him?! Wasn't that one night enough for the sick bastard?!

He felt hands touch his shoulder gently and a concerned voice, but he couldn't reach out to the person. All he could see and think about was the photo and the guy that he kept seeing everywhere. Hands touched his shoulders gently, but Andy couldn't reach out, he could speak., he couldn't even look in their owner's direction. He was frozen with fear. Trapped within the fear. Concerned voices drifted into his ears and he wanted to reach out, but he was still unable to.

After what felt like a lifetime to Andy, but in reality only a few moments, the world started to drift back into focus for him. He felt hands touch him gently on his shoulders, causing Andy to look up into Jake's concerned face. Looking just behind Jake, Andy flinched as he caught sight of the picture in CC's hands. It didn't take a genius for them to figure out what happened. A sob wracked his body as tears started building up quickly in Andy's eyes. Jake wrapped his arms around Andy's shoulders. Andy wrapped his arms around Jake and buried his face into the crook of Jake's neck.

“H-how? Why? What did I ever do to that Asshole?” He heard CC moving closer to him as Jake continued to hold him close. After a moment of silent sobs into Jake's shoulder, Andy pulled away and wiped at his face. “None of this would have happened if I didn't insist on smoking by myself that night.” Andy looked down at the carpet of the hotel room, depression, guilt, and worry flooding his mind like a Typhoon.

Jake put his hands on both of Andy's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “None of this is your fault, Andy. You hear me? Don't you dare start blaming yourself for all of this.”

CC's hands cupped Andy's face, bringing his face to CC's as he placed a kiss to his forehead. “Jake's right. None of this is your fault. It does you no good to blame yourself.” Andy nodded to them both to say that he understood and closed his eyes. Despite their words, Andy wasn't entirely sure he believed them. It still felt like it was his fault.

After a moment of silence between the three of them, the need to use the bathroom resurfaced again. Andy gave CC and Jake shaky smiles and stood up unsteadily. At their inquiring minds, Andy pointed at the bathroom. “I have to use the bathroom.” He quickly grabbed his pants that had been discarded last night and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

Ignoring the mirror, Andy went and did his business, before moving to the sink. Andy frowned at his pale reflection. He looked like a mess. The tear tracks from a few minutes ago were still visible and his eyes were red and puffy. With a frown, Andy washed his hands and put his pants on. As he put his pants on, he felt a strange form in his pocket and scrunched his face. He couldn't remember putting anything in his pocket last night, but then again he had been pretty wasted too.

“What the...” Andy pulled the object out of his pocket and stared confusedly at the small packet of suspicious looking pills. Where the hell had he picked these up at? “Where the fuck?” He set the packet on the counter of the sink and checked his pocket again, pulling out an empty wrapper for the same pills.

Like a ton of bricks, the memory hit Andy, causing his eyes to widen almost comically. After coming back inside from smoking the second time last night, Andy had gone to the restroom and taken some pills from a guy, who said that it would help him loosen up. His memories of the rest of the night were fuzzy, but not completely gone. A sudden wave of dizziness hit Andy, forcing him to brace himself on the counter. He couldn't believe he'd taken some random drug from a guy last night. Taking drugs from strangers wasn't him.

A little voice in the back of his mind reminded him that mutilating his arms wasn't him either. Andy tried to push the voice away, but the voice merely came back louder than before. With strangled moan, Andy clenched his eyes closed tightly and brought his fists down on either side of the sink forcefully. His fists throbbed painfully and he started rubbing his hands to try to ease the pain. With a frustrated sigh, Andy backed himself to the wall and slid down, putting his head in his hands. He felt so ashamed of himself. A knock on the door startled Andy, causing him to snap his neck towards the door.

“Hey, everything going okay in there Andy? We heard a loud noise and got worried.” Andy ran his hands down his face at CC's worried voice on the other side of the door.

“Yeah I....I'm okay. I think.” Andy got up off the floor and dusted himself off. He took a quick relaxing breath and opened the door to give CC a strained smile before looking down at the ground. “I think I did something really stupid last night.” Without another word, Andy pulled the packet out and gave it to CC not even bothering to look at him.

“What's this?” Andy grimaced as CC went silent. He ran his hands through his hair and took a quick peak at CC. CC was white as a sheet. “Why?”

“I...don't know why. I didn't remember much of anything from last night until a moment ago. Some guy promised me it would relax me or something. I don't know what I was thinking.” Andy glanced at Jake who came over to them, wearing pants over his underwear finally with a curious look on his face.

“What happened?” CC passed the packet over to Jake who stared at it with a slightly confused face.

“I may have taken some of that last night.” Andy ran his hand through his hair again, trying to calm himself down. Could this day get any worse? “I....I don't have any clue what I was thinking last night. All I remember is that I was absolutely hammered and still reeling from what happened yesterday. Ugh I'm such a fucking screw up.” He looked down and away from Jake and CC in shame. He felt like the lowest human being on earth.

“Hey, don't say that. Everyone makes mistakes, that doesn't make them a screw up, dude.” Andy's face was lifted and brought eye-to-eye with CC's worried gaze. He felt the tears gather in his eyes and he pulled away from CC in shame and turned his back to the his two lovers. Running his hands through his hair, he came to a decision and walked over to where his shirt was putting it on, then to his cigarettes, wallet, phone, and lighter before stopping at the door of Jake's room. Jake and CC gave him worried looks.

“Where are you going?” Andy clutched his cigarettes tighter in his hands and looked at Jake to reply.

“I'm gonna go for a smoke. I'll be back in a bit. I just need to clear my head for a moment.” Andy opened the door to the hotel room and stepped out into the hallway, letting the door close behind him. Absently as Andy decided which way to go he started rubbing his arm that had the cuts on it. Coming to a decision, Andy went for the elevators and pushed the up button. When the elevator dinged, Andy stepped in and pushed the button for the sixth floor. 

It wasn't long before the elevator stopped and dinged as the doors opened. Andy quickly left the elevator and headed in the direction of his hotel, pulling out his wallet on the way. As he reached his hotel door, he pulled the key-card out and unlocked the door. Pushing the door open, Andy made a beeline for his strewn about luggage and picked up the small orange bottle. He quickly opened the bottle and poured out a few pills. He stared at the white pills in his hand unsure of whether he could swallow them all. With a strangled noise, Andy poured the pills back into the bottle and closed the lid.

After a few moments of just standing there looking at his luggage, Andy tore his shirt off and grabbed another long-sleeved shirt. As he clutched the shirt, Andy saw a glint of metal and took a closer look at it. Picking up his pocket knife, Andy stared intently. He didn't want to disappoint Jake and CC, but he didn't know if he could deal with everything without some form of release. The shirt was gently set back down onto the bed and Andy started to rub the healing scar of his stab wound.

“Fuck.” Andy sank to the ground, still clutching the knife and flipped it open. The chill in the air of the hotel, caused goosebumps on his skin, but he didn't care. On auto-pilot of sorts, Andy gently pressed the sharp blade to the skin of his stomach, near the stab wound. He kept the blade there without making any nicks or cuts. Could he do it? With a grunt of irritation, Andy dropped the blade to the floor and put his face in his hands. What was he doing?

With a deep calming breath, Andy pulled his hands away from his face and closed the knife before dropping it on the floor again. He looked around his surroundings and frowned as he came to another decision. With a grunt, he got up off of the floor and grabbed his shirt, putting it on quickly. Bending down, Andy grabbed the knife and stuck it in his pocket as he made sure he had everything he needed and left his hotel room. With determination, Andy stalked off towards the elevators again and pushed the down button.

~~

Andy walked down the sidewalk at a moderate pace, a white cancerous stick hanging out of his mouth. He took a final drag of the cigarette and tossed it onto the sidewalk before stepping on it. It was around late morning not quite 11:30. A part of Andy told him, that he was getting ready to do something stupid, but he didn't care at that moment. But then lately he'd been doing nothing BUT screwing up, so what was new?

After 5 more minutes of walking, Andy came up to his destination and quickly headed into the small convenient store. It was still fairly early to get good alcohol at a liquor store and not get strange looks, so he went to the next best place. Stalking to the back of the store, Andy browsed the selection of alcohol and looked for the strongest alcohol they had. With a grimace he looked at the selection. It wasn't exactly what he was looking for, but Mike's Harder would have to work for now. Grabbing two of the biggest single bottles he could find, Andy moved to the counter and set them down, bringing out his wallet and ID.

He paid for the alcohol and quickly left the store without having spoken a single thing. Clutching the bag in his hand, Andy looked around debating on where he wanted to go. Spotting a small park nearby, Andy started towards it, crossing the small street quickly to reach it. Once he got to the park, he looked around and studied it. It wasn't a huge park, but it wasn't too small either. The park was large enough that there was a jogging path surrounding the park, and a small play ground with a few benches littered.

Skirting around the playground, Andy was thankful there were no children today. Picking the bench furthest away from the street, Andy sat down and set the bag down next to him. He grabbed and open the first bottle and started to chug it down with fervor. His face contorted to that of disgust at the taste of the alcohol. After the first bottle was empty in a matter of minutes, Andy clumsily set the bottle down on the bench next to himself.

“Fuck.” Andy's vision swam in front of him with a sudden onslaught of dizziness overwhelming him. It was a good thing he was already sitting down or he would have fallen. Nausea welled up in his stomach after a few minutes and Andy barely had time to bend over before he started vomiting. When he couldn't throw up anything else, he dry heaved a few times. A coldness swept over him and he could feel his skin start to become clammy. He didn't feel good at all. His breathing slowed noticeably and unconsciousness quickly overcame him.

 

~~

When Andy came to, the first thing he noticed was the familiar smell of disinfectant and tell-tale beeping of machines. The second thing he noticed, was a breathing tube down his throat that was breathing for him, or trying to as the case was. He turned his head and in his half delirium state tried to move his arms to take the breathing tube out. Andy however nearly cried in panic as he felt straps around his wrists, holding his arms down. His breathing became faster as he struggled against the bindings. After a few moments of struggling, Andy managed to open his eyes and looked around.

With dismay, Andy noticed the lack of a door to his room with a nurses station just across the path. To the left there was a curtain, and to his right there was a sink and counter. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to remember what had happened to cause him to be taken to the ICU.

After a few more moments, a short lady with a long brown hair and Grey-blue eyes walked in. She looked at Andy with surprise. “Oh, you're awake! You gave us all a scare when you came in. You flat-lined once in the emergency room yesterday from the alcohol poisoning you had.” The nurse walked over to him and checked on the machines somewhere behind him and then turned to him again, resting her hand on his arm. “My name is Angie. Let me go get the doctor and we'll see if we can get that tube out of your throat, okay?”

Andy nodded at her, unable to speak a reply. With a bright smile, the nurse patted his arm gently and left the ICU room to go fetch the doctor. Absently Andy started to wonder how mad Jake and CC were going to be at him. He couldn't seem to do anything right lately. He couldn't help but feel that he failed all of his fans with his descent into this madness. His recent actions were going against everything he'd ever said to his fans. Andy Biersack was a fucking hypocrite. 

It didn't take too long for the nurse and a tall man in scrubs to return to the room and get the tube out of his throat. That was an experience he didn't want to go through again. His throat was sore and he found talking slightly difficult, but he was happy that he didn't have to have that tube down his throat. Tiredness set in and Andy was about to fall asleep when the nurse came back in. Andy jerked awake.

“Oh you are awake. I hope I didn't wake you, hun. Do you feel up to having visitors? You have a couple of boys who seem awfully worried about you.” A pang of guilt shot through his heart as the nurse patted his arm reassuringly.

“Yeah. I wanna see them,” Andy croaked out. He grimaced at the hoarseness of his voice.

“Oh dear let me get you some ice chips for that voice of yours, and then I'll go ahead and let the boys know they can come see you, okay?” He merely nodded in reply to the nurse and watched her leave again. Absently Andy pulled on the restraints again. He'd have to ask the nurse if she could release them when she came back.

When the nurse came back, she raised up Andy's bed so he was sitting up more. Andy turned to her and pulled on his restraints. “Any way I can get these removed?” He flinched at the pain in his throat from talking. The nurse set the ice chips on the moveable dinner tray and looked at the restraints with a thoughtful look.

“Only as long as you promise not to rip any of these tubes out, okay?” Andy nodded at the nurse. With a smile, the nurse started to undo the restraints, being careful not to agitate the healing scars on his left arm. She patted his arm reassuringly. “There, all free. I'll leave these chips here for you and go get your friends, okay?” He nodded again, not trusting his voice.

Guilt started to eat at him when he saw a very haggard looking Jake and CC walking towards his ICU room. Andy looked at the wall away from them when they approached, hiding the tears of shame welling in his eyes. He heard their footsteps approach the bed and carefully maneuvered his hand so he could wipe the tears out of his eyes. When his eyes were mostly dry, Andy turned to look at Jake and CC. After a moment Andy could no longer hold their gaze and reached over, grabbing the cup of ice chips. When he'd gotten an ice chip and put it in his mouth, CC took the cup from him and set it on the table silently. 

“Hey.” Jake spoke first, breaking the silence. Andy sucked on the ice chip and gave Jake a shaky smile in return. “I just....I ...why?” He blinked his eyes rapidly and stared down at his lap.

“I don't know. I wasn't thinking. Maybe I just wanted to drown out the shame I felt.” Andy's voice was still hoarse, but he noted that the ice chips definitely helped.

“Shame for what, man? If you're talking about the pills, people do stupid things all the time. Look at me! I do stupid things all the time.” CC moved over to the other side of the bed as Jake and held Andy's hand. Jake grabbed Andy's hand as well.

“It's not just that! It's....I've let all our fans down. I spent so many years saying how not to self-harm and all that. Now....now I'm just a screw up and a hypocrite.” Andy made a motion to grab the cup of ice, but was stopped by Jake who handed it to him. He put another piece of ice in his mouth.

“You're not a screw up Andy. You've just made some stupid choices, that's all. One of them nearly killed you! You know we're here to help, right? Just...just let us in. I can tell you're not dealing with the rape, Andy. You need to deal with it properly and we can help.” Andy's breath hitched at the mention of the rape and he looked down at his lap, avoiding Jake's expression. He knew Jake was trying to help, but he didn't want help. Or maybe he did? Andy wasn't sure at that moment.

“I'm tired and I want to go to sleep now.” Andy lowered the head of the bed and laid down, facing away from Jake. From the corner of his eye, Andy saw CC give Jake a look.

“Alright, Andy. We'll leave you alone. We'll be back tomorrow to pick you up, okay? Sleep tight.” With one last squeeze of his hands, they left the room leaving Andy alone with his thoughts again.

~~

The next day around noon, Jake and CC did indeed come to pick him up like they'd said they would. It didn't take long for Andy to get dressed into real clothes and signed out before they were on their way to the vehicle. When they reached the vehicle, Andy noticed Chris sitting in the driver seat. He waved at Chris and climbed into the back seat.

“Hey. Jake called me up and asked if we were still in town. Hope you don't mind.” Andy shook his head and gave Chris a small smile. The first few minutes of the drive to the hotel were silent. He could tell Jake and CC were hiding something from him, as they kept giving each other looks from across the car.

“What's going on? Why do you two keep looking at each other?” Jake sighed and rubbed his face from his seat next to Andy in the back.

“We uhh...all agreed to have a band meeting. When we get back.” Andy's heart leapt into his throat. He swallowed thickly.

“Like an intervention? You guys are holding an intervention??” Andy looked out the window and rubbed at his eyes, trying not to let the tears of betrayal show.

“No Andy. It's...it's not exactly an intervention. We just....need to have a serious discussion about where we're all going to go from here.” CC's voice held a touch of guilt to it. Andy wrapped his arms around his middle as they pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. He couldn't believe this was happening. Or maybe on some level he could. It didn't mean he was ready for something like this.

When they stopped, Andy undid his seat-belt and opened the door. He closed the door and walked away from the car without even saying thank you to Chris. As he got closer to the hotel, he could hear Jake and CC shouting for him to wait up, but he was too upset to stop for them.

As he stepped through the doors he looked around the lobby. He ran a hand through his hair then checked to his pockets. Satisfied that he had what he was looking for, Andy headed towards the nearest bathroom before Jake and CC could see him.

The bathroom was cold, but Andy didn't care much about that. He opened a stall door and locked it behind him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his pocket knife and flipped it open. For a moment he stared at the existing healing cuts on his forearm. After making a quick decision, Andy rolled up his t-shirt sleeve and pressed the blade to his upper arm dragging it across his skin. Andy wasn't thinking straight and a part of him realized that. He just need some sort of relief and this was the quickest way to achieve that. The singer made two more cuts on his arm before he stopped. The relief from the pain of the cuts washed over him, causing him to sigh. He'd missed the feeling of release this brought, even he'd went back on his promise to Jake and CC.

It was a few moments later when he could hear his lovers calling for him in the lobby. Looking at his arm, Andy made sure the cuts had clotted before he opened the stall and put his pocket knife away. He rinsed off the blood from his arm, getting rid of the evidence of what he'd just done. When he was satisfied, Andy rolled down his sleeve so that it was covering the cuts and left the lobby bathroom.

“There you are! We got worried when you disappeared. I know you're upset about the meeting, but we'll sort everything out, okay?” Andy looked at Jake and took a deep breath.

“I just had to go to the bathroom really bad. Sorry for worrying you guys. Let's get this over with.” CC patted Andy on the back lightly as they walked to the elevators. He felt a pang of regret for lying to them, but he couldn't let them know he already broke his promise to them, he just couldn't. They guided him up to Jinxx's hotel room, and Andy felt anxiety wash over him. Andy wanted nothing more than to get away from there at that moment.

Jake knocked on Jinxx's door loudly. “Hey Jinxx, we're here with Andy.” A few moments later the door opened to see a tired looking Jinxx on the other side.

“Hey guys.” His gaze stayed on Andy a few seconds longer than the rest of them making Andy feel exposed. When they walked in, they saw Ashley sitting in one of the chairs provided in the room already. Like Jinxx, his gaze rested on Andy for a few moments.

Andy made sure to not lock gazes with anyone and took a seat on the floor at the foot of the bed. He looked at the floor as the others got situated around him. As he looked at the floor, Andy started to run his fingers over the healing cuts on his left arm tracing every one. 

“Is Jon coming to this too? Or is this mainly focused around how much of screw up I am?” Andy's words were very bitter and he could almost hear the others' worried thoughts. 

“Andy you're not a screw up. You're a pain in the ass, yes, but not a screw up.” Ashley meant well, Andy knew that, but he couldn't help but feel hurt by his words anyways. He felt like a burden to the others.

“So if I'm not a screw up, then why are we having a meeting that makes it sound like Black Veil Brides are over?” He couldn't help the bitterness and hurt tone in his voice. Black Veil Brides meant everything to him. He'd started the band out with nothing and now they had millions of fans. This was his dream and he wasn't ready to let go of it yet.

“We're having this meeting because we're all worried about you, Andy. This is the second time that you've nearly died and we haven't even had our first concert since the attack yet. If we're going to finish the tour, we need to make sure that you can handle the stress of touring.” Jinxx's words weren't as harsh as Ashley's, but it didn't stop the tears from building up in his eyes at the truthfulness of them. Could he continue touring without breaking down?

“We all love you, Andy and we hate seeing you like this. We just want you to get better, dude. There's no Black Veil Brides without you Andy.” Andy pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them at CC's words.

“I don't...I don't want Black Veil Brides to end because of me and my stupidity. I'll.... please don't break up the brides over me.” Andy flinched as his voice audibly broke and let the tears fall. “I just...I need...I don't...” He took a shaky breath as he tried to collect his thoughts. “I know I'm not completely stable...but I...Brides mean everything to me.” There was a tense silence and Andy figured they were all silently communicating.

“Alright, so we continue on. BUT there's going to be ground rules.” Jake's voice was stern and Andy had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like these ground rules.

“What kind of rules?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan on the second trip to the hospital originally, but this story has already proven to me that it's writing itself essentially lol. I'll have to see where the story takes me because it keeps veering off of my plot line :P


	12. UPDATE NOTE

Just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't given up on the story, Writer's block happened, then I found someone that's helping me co-write another story. When we're done with that story titled Tainted and Scarred, more than likely we'll both start working on this one and revamping it. There were quite a few errors in this story, especially medical wise :P. The story WILL be finished at some point though. :)

This note will be taken down when I do start posting/working on this story again :)


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